nerd™

the anger games
2017-07-23 00:10:22 (UTC)

Day 153. Everything sucks. EVERYTHING.

We had the family gathering yesterday.
It started out quite bad then it got really horrible then it went back to being bad again.
Just entering the apartment gave me chills... This isn't how it's supposed to be. Dad was supposed to drive us there. We were supposed to find grandpa sitting in his chair watching WWE shit. The place should have smelled of baking and candy . It was supposed to be.. Warm. It was supposed to feel like home more than home does..
But instead it was awfully quiet and painfully empty. It smelled like dust. Every corner in the God damn house held so much memories that once warmed my heart and put a smile on my face but now they were just painful
This isn't how it was supposed to be..

My brother just said "I hate life"
It felt like a knife through my heart.
Why..
Why does a 10 year old kid has to go through all this shit and be under so much stress to the point where he hates his life
I am not objecting to God's will.. I understand God has a plan for everything but..
It hurts. It really does

One more thing, I accidentally caught Di's attention on the other account and we talked. And it's so tempting not to talk to her again because I really really miss her but i would be doing the same mistakes again.. I won't let myself go there again.
I am not a liar anymore.
Speaking of which,
I suppose I should change my username back, shouldn't I?
We are over it.




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