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2017-07-16 05:35:31 (UTC)

I Care, and So Do You

I always ask if you care and it's not because I don't believe you but because sometimes I need reassurance because I need it. My thoughts destroy me sometimes and I genuinely think I am worthless, so living is wasteful, and no one should care even though I know that is not true. I tell you this and you compare me to your girlfriend, but I am not her and I am me (also just don't get me started with your relationship.) You tell me you care and I had this confirmed twice. Once when you looked at my stomach and saw all the little cuts from the night before (after I told you just a week ago that I wouldn't cut because it would hurt me far more and too much if I hurt you, so if hurting myself hurt you I wouldn't do it...but I did anyway.) and your face, which is usually pretty emotionless sort of changed and you could tell that you felt something and I knew you cared. And the second time was when we were texting I was mad, you asked why I did something, and I asked why you cared, and you said "I don't know...I just do." Which is not a reason and it doesn't explain but you cared enough about our relationship to care when I did something negatively toward you.

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