Jake 🇺🇸

Killing Lions
2017-06-24 16:03:21 (UTC)

Trying to pick a girl to persue

Girls are so distracting lol, this last month. Phew. Last night I had a dream about K. K is another girl with family problems, she grew up in a bad household, she doesn't even have her own room and she practically drifts around and doesn't exactly own a place. Anyway, she's pretty cute and recently my friend informed me that she was really into me. It all sort of makes sense: She'd pick me over all my friends, even though she knew my friends way better than me. This summer had been really rough for her and she sort of isolated herself off from all of us. My friend (who was good friends with her) said she wasn't responding to ANY of his texts. I asked her what she was doing and she excitingly asked if I could come out to her place -- so... i'm bringing all my friends tonight lol. Anyway, I also asked Sarah to come (probably a bad idea) so yeah... it'll be interesting. I guess right now out of all the girls that my friends tell me are interested in me, K is probably the most on my level. She's also shown me actual, physical, affection: Hugging me really hard, caressing my shoulder etc. Something that all the other girls haven't. So yeah, I'm pretty excited to see her and catch up. Unlike Sarah, her personality fits really well with mine. Just like me, she's a really hard worker, just like me she started off really poor and had to work her way up. I guess I'm a little worried that because there's so many people I won't be able to have much 1 on 1 time. Bummer. There was too many friends I wanted to invite ugh. Now my friend is telling me that he also invited Maria. I don't think I've mentioned Maria...


Something golden happened yesterday, it was one comment that was pretty simple but it just was the way that I made the comment that I created a deep, almost flirty, connection. So there's this mexican girl, Maria (mentiioned above), that just joined the same grad program so my friend was hanging out with her, and through him I met her. Anyway, we were at an art festival and watching this performance. There were some vertical dancers that we were watching. I remembered that her facebook profile was her doing some kind of curtain dancing. I softly leaned against her, she noticed and turned to me. Leaning down I whispered in her ear: "Hey, you do curtain dancing right??" She just looked at me and gave me one of the cutest smiles and nodded. That little comment broke all the ice between us. After, she was the one who kept pointing things out to me. Her body language also changed with her standing closer and occasionally glancing at me. Just like before, I don't know if she suddenly likes me (highly doubt it, besides, she's probably out of my league) but we're more comfortable with each other and that's something encouraging. Ohhh, that reminds me, I took a bunch of pictures of her last week. I need to send them to her.


Then there's the other girl, Alex. I played volleyball with her on Thursday. Whoa, she's hot. But I also found out a lot about her, she loves sarcasm just as much as me. She loves pink lol... But my friend told me again:
"I think you should ask her out."
I threw it off and was like: "Dude, I think she's into you, she laughs at all your jokes, she's constantly around you."
Him: "Nah not like that. She ALWAYS leaves after we play, but she actually stuck around for awhile after we finished, she never does that. She's using me to get to you."


Hmm. Well idk what to think about all of that. If there's a girl that isn't messed up, really cute, really athletic, a christian. That's Alex. As things stand she seems to fit basically all the criteria for a girlfriend. Now... if i wasn't so shy. If I knew what to do. If I only knew how to ask her out. If I only knew the right things to say. I suppose I can't really improve unless I try, right? So far I haven't really flirted with her, though, her eyes are and I still stand by this, the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Thursday we were talking about something, no idea what it was, and our eyes sort of just locked. It must have been about 5 seconds before I looked down. Just like me, she has blue eyes.


This got me thinking about friends. Now that I increasingly have the opportunity to choose my friends, I should try to make wise decisions and not base it off pure emotion. Like, what friends will help me achieve my goals? What friends will help me with my research? Certainly not the group I hang out with right now. I guess I picked the group of friends because they sort of picked me; I didn't have a choice. I suppose there was another group of friends I could have joined but I just didn't fit well with them. They say you are the average of the 3 people you hang out with. So. Be around people who you want to be like.




Ad: