A lady in the crowd
2017-06-03 05:02:56 (UTC)

Pretencious Smile.

You surround yourself with people who have a plastered smile on their face. They laugh and you laugh along with them. This happiness becomes a domino effect but not for me. I'm the girl who silently drowns in sorrow. I wear a mask of happiness but I still recognize my own reflection in the mirror. I'm the only one who knows it's all staged.

I look back at high school and think about how it should've been. It's meant to be the most cheerful four years of our lives! I stand by the American Canal and still have the same thoughts from three years ago, "Jump." It's a selfish move for someone who has such a bright future to put it a stop to it - that thought stops me from making a terrible mistake. It's too early to become the next Robert Williams.

Today is Gran Night and it's only a matter of days before graduation; these are the days of celebration. Instead I spend my sleepless nights with bittersweet thoughts. I'm the only one who doesn't celebrate the milestone of graduation; I have become like Edgar Allan Poe, Scott Fitzgerald, and Stephen King. They all have one thing in common.

I go through this battle alone and I surrender in defeat.

~Yours Truly,