nostresssprout

Young Sprout
2017-05-29 03:59:27 (UTC)

Switch

I'm so sad all the time but that's just another thing people don't understand because when I say I'm tired or when I say I'm fine or when I say I'm sorry sometimes I just want someone to tell me they understand or that they know I'm not fine. Sometimes I just want a hug. When I broke down you asked me what caused it and I don't know how to explain it because sometimes I'm fine everything seems normal but then something happens like a switch going off and then my mind goes dark everything breaks and I sink deeper into the darkness I can't sleep, I can't eat and I can't laugh. It's hard for me to go through this and when someone understands they leave everyone leaves but it doesn't hurt me anymore because I'm the person that everyone replaces. I hate to cry I hate to be weak and I want you to think I'm strong but I also want you to know how broken I am, but you'll never know how hard it used to be. I was hurt the whole time and you say that it's not how I really am but I just never said anything. I lied because it DID hurt but I didn't want you to know how much. When that switch goes off I get distant when I'm depressed I separate myself even though I want help because everyone before has told me that i'm the bad guy and I want to believe I'm not but I don't believe that I believe what they tell me.




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