šŸƒAmanda22Janeā¤

Ghost Writer
2017-05-12 19:36:00 (UTC)

Cold Friday.

The weather is cold, rain-driven and damp. Damp inside the bedsit and outside even worse. I've slept most of the day. Got up at 2:30 pm and went out into the cold rain because I had to. Needed to get my meds and a flu vaccination and groceries otherwise I would've stayed in bed. The exercise did me good even though it was cold. It's still cold and I've retired to bed again to keep warm...

I'm tired of being ill. A nurse pointed out to me this evening that my health is in a fragile state. I needed to be reminded of that. I'm fed up with taking my heart meds already and living on such a spartan clean diet.

Bought another chocolate twist danish tonight at the supermarket. At this supermarket there were fruit and custard danishes but I ignored those...all I could see were the chocolate ones. Yum. It was really good.
I've had a very spartan dinner. I am coming to accept that vegetables and fruit (fresh) are going to be an important part of my diet for the rest of my life along with other heart food staples.

TMF is really irritating me with his usual "all about me, me, fucking me" narcissistic behaviour. I'm learning to be brave and stand up to his selfish bullshit.


I may suffer from borderline personality disorder however narcissistic psychopaths fuck me the hell off with their sick as shit behaviours and mental diarrhoea. Vomitous. Repulsive. They don't fool me anymore.


I yearn to meet healthy souls. Pure-hearted personalities who simply love life...life is still a survival mode dynamic for myself in so many ways. I'm learning...and refusing to learn in any way but the hard way still....


I have tooth pain in three teeth. This has been ongoing for nearly a year now ; same three teeth. It's a misery I could've done without for the past few days. Life is not so good for me. (When has it fucken ever been anyway, except in small moments?)


I'm thanlful that I had the strength to walk and walk this week and energy to work hard at making the most of my tiny weekly income. I don't want to say how much I get because it would shock you, considering we are a first world welfare state. That last thing I wrote is a load of bullshit. Welfare state my ass. Politics morph into beasts shod with lambskin here. Utter bullshit.


Need to deal with my tooth pain and knee pain from my fall last week. Can't write very much on pain. All for tonight. Take good care and never become a hard-nosed, angry addict like me...NEVA PEOPLE... Ciao.




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