šŸƒAmanda22Janeā¤

Ghost Writer
2017-05-11 22:54:00 (UTC)

Alice D. & Church Dreams.

It's medication & grocery shopping Thursday today. I did neither. I am tired, very tired, so I went out briefly to have a nice lunch : a delicious fish burger, one deep-fried spring roll, a pork bun & a lime milkshake. The entire meal was delicious, well-cooked by a local fish-&-chip shop and cost was under $15.00. Fish burgers have a battered & deep-fried fish fillet in it with a meat pattie, salad ingredients, mayo & a meat pattie, which I always take out and eat separately. I'm currently and temporarily on a heart diet rebellion. Sick of eating just heart food...got more pizza slices too today ; four in two days and a large packet of plain biscuits PLUS a double chocolate danish. It was fortunate that the danish pastry was half the size of the fruit danishes. There were no fruit danishes at the supermarket.


Been sleeping most of the day and night today. The Naltrexone I took the previous Friday/Saturday still had a residual effect on the wine I drank yesterday : it blocked my getting high. Fuck that drug is powerful. I'm not taking it again, it makes me very ill (side effects do).


Been having church dreams. One sequence was on loop : I walk into the chapel proper for service and the pews are all taken by people lying down with blankets over them sleeping. The dream gets more bizarre. I walk into the chapel another time for church and the only available pew to sit on is a pew at right angles to the rest. It's empty, so I use it. I fall asleep too. The loop dream sequence always ends the same way - except for the last time - I get left behind by my family. They don't wait for me to give me a ride home. I feel a profound sense of abandonment and spiritual neglect from my family. From church members, I feel they would prefer not to know the truth about me and what I represent & they are asleep to parts of life. The blankets may represent cotton wool : wrapping their lives up in cotton wool. Dangerous thing to do.


I hate talking about church trials and tribulations.




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