nerd™

the anger games
2017-05-08 00:18:11 (UTC)

Day 76. A disappointment. A disgrace.

8th of may.
My practical finals start 10th.
I still can't even start studying.
The panic is starting to rise, Self hate is just around the corner and mental breakdowns season is here.

I honestly can't find the will to do anything anymore. I don't wanna do anything. I don't wanna read, I don't wanna watch a movie or a show, I don't want music
I just want this to stop
I don't wanna wake up anymore


There is this girl I used to know in high school, we weren't friends or anything I just knew her.
Her grandpa died.
There is this other girl in college with me, I didn't even know her name but she came up to me and told me her dad died a couple of months ago too.
There is this girl that I used to call a nerd every time I saw her because she is just weird, the way she acts is so weird. Well, I stumbled upon her facebook today and found that her dad is dead .

All those people lost people they love.
All those people still live their lives, go out, study..etc
When you look at them from a far, you would never know they have been through such horrible things

Why can't I be like that?
Why am I a mess?
Why can't I pick myself up too?
Why do I always have to be the disappointment in this family?

I REALLY wish I was never born at all.




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