atomheartmother03

A Saucerful of Secrets (Warning - Sexual Content!)
2017-05-01 17:52:23 (UTC)

Leave it till tomorrow to unpack my case. Honey disconnect the phone...

Well, I am stressed beyond my maximum capacity...


The kids are still in school. Baseball and softball have started which means later nights.. My husband works mostly evenings so that leaves me trying to get them to their games/practices plus get them fed and in bed at a halfway decent time, which is nearly impossible when you get home at 9-9:30. My husband's sister and her husband do help some, but it's still a lot on me and it's starting to really get to me. I have been having crazy bad headaches lately. I think they have been tension headaches.. When it first started, I had one that lasted from Friday evening until Wednesday morning when it was finally relieved by high dose Ibuprofen and a muscle relaxer my Dr. called in for me. These headaches are awful! They start in my neck and go all the way up the back of my head, to the top of my head, and to my forehead. They make it so hard to concentrate on anything. I used to get migraines several years ago...I don't think these headaches are quite as bad as migraines, but they are still terrible!! They are both really bad in their own ways..

I'm tired. I'm forgetting things like crazy. I am just having a really hard time keeping up with life right now. Buuut, I know this will pass and I love every second of watching my kids play baseball and softball and before I know it they will be all grown up and I'll miss this, so it's worth it..

My husband has been a grouch ass again lately. I seriously don't know how much of that I can handle. We were getting along pretty well, but here the last little bit, he's gotten so hateful again. It's like everything I say to him annoys him or something and then he just blows up over every little thing. I don't know what his problem is, but I can't take much of it.. especially as stressed as I've already been. I need him to get on the same page and stay there.. Maybe it's a lost cause. Part of me thinks I just need to move on or I'll never be happy. But then I worry because I've never believed in divorce as an option for myself.. I don't think badly about those who get divorced, I just always thought it wasn't something I'd do.. I've also read about it in the Bible and feel like divorce is not the answer... I made the vows, I'm supposed to stick to them...

I just honestly think I can't right now anyway. My husband is still working, so we have two incomes. That makes paying bills a little easier.. Divorce would mean giving that up again.. And I've wanted this for so long.. Just to be able to pay the bills and have everything we need...that makes me really happy.. But why don't I feel happy?

Then, I had an online friend who I could talk about anything with and he just completely out of the blue quit talking to me. I mean, I know he has had a lot going on in the last several months with the death of his father, among other things, but he just flat-out quit talking to me. I really don't understand how you can take the time to form a friendship like that and then not even tell someone you don't want to talk to them anymore. If it had just been an online sex kind of thing, that would be different. I've had situations like that where the other person and I just basically quit messaging each other...But it wasn't like that at all. We were truly just friends who could talk to each other about anything. So, whatever he's doing, I hope he's happy and I hope he's okay. I Just wish he could have told me "to my face" that he didn't want to talk to me anymore. That's what hurts more than anything about the whole situation..

Oh, yeah...I've also been having really crazy dreams lately.. Some are nightmares, but some are just completely crazy..

I think I need a vacation.. And I don't just mean time off work like I took back at Christmastime. I actually need to go somewhere away from here where I can try to relax.. The beach would be great right now.. If I went now, I'd probably never want to come home...haha..It sounds better and better by the minute...




Ad: