Ranmat

The Last Hours
2017-04-29 03:07:36 (UTC)

What am I

This is by far my favorite place to be.

I can't believe it's taking me almost 3 months while being laid off to get here.
As soon as I get here I dread leaving.
I have to One day live on the beach.

I bought a folding laydown beach chair. I'm coming up in the world.
It's probably the only progress that I've made.

Despite my game plan for my layoff schedule I haven't done any of it. I did make an effort. I've gained 9 pounds. The 9 pounds that I actually lost before I got laid off. I got a recruiter. But asked him not to send me anything till August.
I haven't put the finishing touches on my resume. And I have been taking the recruiters test.

I find myself cooking and cleaning as there's many things to do around the house and trying to get up enough energy to work out. I had an issue with my sciatica. That slowed me down. And wanted to concentrate on auxiliary pioneer in these two months. I could never take a vantage of the opportunity before. But I even find myself distracted in the last of the second month.

I try to get Medi-Cal at least for Jonah and was denied because of my gross when I was working. And also because I'm still collecting severance. I get one more severance check. And then I will have to file for unemployment. I don't think the amount for unemployment is going to cover extras. Just the bills. I'm worried that I will be penalized for not having medical benefits next year for these months. I'm not sure if there's a grace. I was able to get my bills down to $1800 a month. I have about 40,000 in my 401(k). And a little over 8000 in my pension. Which I wanted to cash out and keep for emergency and once I get a job if there was no emergencies and pay that towards paying off my car. But if I cash out my pension it will affect the amount of my unemployment check. So I will have to roll it over into an IRA. Which leaves me a little broke. I made the mistake of counting my eggs before they hatch. I definitely need to learn to be more disciplined. So I want to take the time out since it's been three months to possibly not work for three more months.

One reason is because my son will be on summer break. We can have an opportunity to spend some quality time and work on things I've slacked time as a mom. Another reason is that I really need to get my network engineer license so that I can get a job or show that I have some type of education or seriousness in the field that I've been in in the last 15 years.

So I want to take advantage of this time.
Not sure what all I qualify for. But one thing is for sure I need to make an efforts, Live my life according to Jehovah's will, and all will work out.

Lately my cousin has put a little pressure on. See we had this wonderful plan of getting our families together living close together to support and help each other. But my grandmother doesn't want to move. My mom wants to stay three more years until retirement. My son desperately needs his own room as it stunting his growth. But JL lives in Arizona. I don't trust myself to be that close to him and continue to remain loyal. I need or I would need to be married.
I don't know why I making so hard.

If I just concentrate it seriously on everything that I need to do everything will fall in place.
Not going to work has made me lazy.
Depressed.
I have to fight to not take naps during the day. I have to fight to be productive.
This is my time.
The time is now.

If I Waste this time i'm truly stupid.




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