I feel very alone, which is what happens as we all have to carry our own cross. It is in the bible. I am lucky to have friends I can call on to support me financially but there is a limit they can do. I feel disappointed that my parents have not even tried calling me to find out how I am coping yet I am sure they are waiting and upset that I have not called them. I think they just think because it is me I will find a way somehow, that I am smart enough to find my way through this. No matter how smart you are the line is very thin. This coming Month (May) is super critical for me. I have to get a job in May – there are no 2 ways about it – otherwise I will not have a way to pay my rent, pay my bills, pay my kids school fees or even attend to the threats from the tax man. I have seen stronger men crumble to less pressure I am facing right now but there seem to be an inner calm in me somehow. I just thank God for the strength he has given me.
The current phase I am in is to enrich myself with wisdom and knowledge, create a structured life and routine while I seek employment. This is the focus.
It is sad to hear from my brother who met a friend of my ex recently and she told him my ex told her I was spending our joint credit card on prostitutes when we were married. It baffles me why she needs to embark on this character assassination. She lied on absolutely everything in court, got the house and got to keep the nest egg she hid away and the little land the court gave me she went behind the court’s back to sell the land. Yet she is not satisfied. I am burdened with huge debts including marital debts, no money and no job yet I look forward with grace and I feel at peace although I will never forgive her for all her lies and actions but I wish her no harm