I am calm but I feel fear bubbling underneath the surface.
What is surprising me is the calmness within me. I can put it down to 2 things. My faith in God and I back myself. I think I will be a success as a business Analyst but I should be careful and ensure I don’t mix-up self belief and arrogance. I want to live a humble but confident life. I am finally in a good place in terms of the structure I want to bring into my life. I must always have a strategic goal and then plan things/projects o achieve these goals. This also means that the daily routine and tasks I do align with these goals. I will not be derailed. I noticed that most of the times the things I do are more to accommodate other people. I need to focus and ensure that what I do aligns with where I am going.
I feel so vulnerable. The business I am doing cost me my job as I was dismissed for not declaring my interest in this business. Yet in my hour of need I feel abandoned by the people in the business. Nobody has called or checked on me if I am doing ok and worse they seem to be carrying on in new directions without any consultation from me, I have learnt long ago no to put any faith in any man. That man will disappoint you. My financial burden is heavy it can crush someone. I have to carry my load and be strong. For me the journey has just started. I need to remain healthy, watch what I eat and look after myself. Then I will give myself a change to sort my life out. I have a 3 year plan to be back in the black. In 3 years I will be financially stable, a structured and mature citizen. That is my mission “To live a structured life without any financial burden”. The strategy is to accomplish financial independence in 3 years.