The day has come that I will finally start living the life I want to. That is a life of purpose and structure. It is a shame that it has taken me this long and to get to this circumstance to realise that my life was in chaos.
The truth is that i was reckless with finance and in fact my daily life. A good example is my driving. I need to be more responsible in life on absolutely everything I d. I have enjoyed life now it is the time to tow the line and be a good father and citizen. I want to bring complete structure into my life. I want to be on top of all aspects of my life.
I am so scared to even think about the future, I have no job, no money, no idea how I will pay my rent, no idea how I will pay the people I owe, no idea how I will pay the institutions I owe and I have 2 cases with the tax man that may ruin my credit and ability to gain employment. Basically I am f*****!
What am i to do? I can only do what I know how to do. That is tap into my inner strength and believes in God that all things are possible. I am aware of my current situation and how best to come out of it and I am focusing completely on this.
I have now finished my course in Business Analysis so while i await the results which may take up to 6 weeks I have to keep moving. This means, I will start applying for jobs, I will revise in detail what I did in the course to prepare for any potential interviews (I will read overnight) and I will also spend time trying to get fit, improving my golf, Spanish and salsa. I have to always gain irrespective of my situation. I want to also brush up my finance and technical knowledge I have acquired all these years as the ideal job I am looking for will be the one I can utilise my finance and technical knowledge in a BA role.
It seems very bleak and I am depressing to wake up and have nowhere to go but that is not the case. I have somewhere to go. I may remain in my flat but I am moving forward, I will not stand still.
Life is full of phases, i am in the next phase and I just need to understand the conditions of this phase and what I need to do to get out of it and progress.
Today is the first day that I will start looking for a job – and I have given myself 5 weeks to find a job and in those 5 weeks I want to have grown as a human being.