šŸƒAmanda22Janeā¤

Ghost Writer
2017-04-24 11:29:00 (UTC)

Couldn't Write.

Fucked up my finances last week by drinking from Tuesday to Saturday and now I'm broke and in worst debt than ever with the bank this time and my housing institution as well as medical bills.
This is sortable but I cannot muster the courage to call the bank and housing officer to "face the music" and put things right. Fuck. My drinking is way out of hand. Looks like I'll be doing three months of rehab if I can't stop with group therapy -which hasn't begun yet- and medication therapy -which also hasn't started yet- AND one-way therapy -which is ongoing- ....what a fakin' MESS. My elderly neighbour told me just this morning to stop drinking.
Well this my third day sober. Being familiar with what the sobriety walk entails doesn't make it any easier trying to get sober. I am not a criminal at least. Being real about being sober is not easy...I don't want to write about this any longer.

Using free town wi-fi because I have no money to pay my monthly phone bill. This is a tragic state of affairs....that's why I haven't written these past few days...dead broke, on a dead run down the dangerous, slippery slope of insobriety and dead scared...I'm done.


At least I have food, walks, my bed, books, sewing, nicotine replacement, mindfulness and gardening.
Thankyou God for providing mercy in my life today and beautiful weather....until next time...I'm sure there'll be a next time...




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