rayner

My journal
2017-04-22 03:17:44 (UTC)

Twelve

I just got home from going with my mom to drop my brother off at work. I wanted to be a tag along/get a drink. My mom had to do a bit of shopping so we followed my brother inside the store. My brother stopped at the McDonald's to presumably get his usual two double cheese burgers, and me and my mom went to get poptarts. We went down an aisle to get the bigger box of chocolate poptarts because those are my mom's favorite and she only got two out of the smaller box she bought at the Dollar General the other day and I saw first hand what I'd potentially be doing if I got the overnight stocking position. It looked like really easy work but (like my bother said) also tedious. I would probably get a lot of thinking done during a shift. I already get a lot of thinking done on daily bases anyway because my mind never shuts up (and this is why I should probably get into the habit of writing things down daily). I wouldn't mind doing stocking, but it's not guaranteed I'll get the call for an interview, and if I do, it's not guaranteed I'd get the job. Because I wouldn't be the only one in for an interview, there would be other potential future employees, someone who'd be better fit for the job or has a kid they need to feed. But my fingers are crossed for an interview call. I'm trying not to expect it. I'm trying to forget I ever did the application so the universe would - hopefully - let me have that interview call.


On the way home, I kind of expected my mom to talk to me about it, me seeking a job. I don't know what I'd expect for her to say. Maybe the old repeat of "you know you'll have talk, right?". I know she wouldn't discourage me from finding a job. But I don't know how she feels about it, because since I was around nineteen she kept telling she wasn't worried about me getting a job. I was the last of her kids on her list of getting a job or an ID card. I still haven't gotten my ID card, not that I need it, really, right?

I remember the day my brother got his ID card. Him, my mom, and my sister went out to run some errands. I was home alone, laying on the sofa and watching TV in the living room when my brother came home and showed me his brand new ID card. Instead of being happy for him, I was upset. I was told prior to that day by my mom that she was going to help me get my ID. Instead she helped my brother get his and I was told "we'll get yours later, I'm not worried about you". Almost eight years later and I still haven't gotten it. It's whatever. If I really need one, I'll get it somehow.

Anyway, before I could get my drink my mom had to drop something off at my sister's. I didn't go inside. But I suspect my mom told my sister about me putting in an application for Wal-Mart and I didn't want to hear the " you know you'll have to talk, right?" from her. I'm sorry it may not seem like an annoyance to you, but to me hearing that repeated by so many people over the years is just - ugh! annoying af. We didn't stay long over there - thankfully - and I didn't have to hear from my mom about sister trying to coerce her into babysitting my nephew this late at night, because she will do that. She doesn't care if my mom doesn't want to or how late it is or if she's sick or her knee's acting up. If she wants to go out with her husband, she will make my mom babysit and not care.

Anyway, I'm rambling. I think I'll watch some YouTube and go to bed. Night/morning/whatever it is in your part of the world. (I'm also going to stop talking about wanting the interview call before I jinx it.)




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