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2017-04-21 21:06:26 (UTC)

Being social

In my last entry I said that I want to be more social, that's why

I'm shy and anxious, with no social skills (because I avoided anything social most of my life)
And I only have two friends (not a bad thing)

I had this idea about people, they all going to hate me or find me boring and not interesting at all.
I never tested my theory though

When I am around people other than my friends, I hide myself and become no one actually.

Because I'm scared of being judged by them, I start thinking what if they don't like me what if they think that uncool and weird what if what if

So I just sit there ,daydream a little, smile or fake giggle when they say something "funny".
Never talk about my opinion, or anything about me.

Sometimes, they forget that I'm there.

I understand why though...

Anyways, I realised that not showing myself won't make others think I'm interesting, or even try to be friends with me.
Because of these walls I put, it's hard for then to get to know me.
No matter how much they try to break those walls, they don't get close.

I'll try and be myself around others.
If they like it or not, it's not my problem.

*does this makes sense? Probably not

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