Phillip Wilson

Amazingly, I survived my Life
2011-09-30 00:04:19 (UTC)

2003 REVIEW (PART NINETEEN)

June- Childersburg/Sylacauga, AL (continues)

All this time practicing and focusing: Where has it got me? It seems that my only progress has been in “cascade” juggling! But is that so bad? From a well-executed “cascade” comes a “fountain,” a “W,” a “picking cotton”: Every other juggling variety! I have always felt that it is a great thing for an accomplished dancer or musician to, throughout her/his “career,” work on the basics: pliés, scales, etc. Not that I am an accomplished juggler, but it is the basic is “behind” advance juggling!
(acerca de 11:12 A.M.) THE DISTRICT (8-9:00 P.M., C.B.S.) and SOUTH PARK (9-9:30 P.M., Comedy Central) were the centerpiece of my television-watching yesterday evening. But I would be lying if I declared that these two programs were all, even in this room! Parts of SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE (10:35-midnight, N.B.C.) – the rebroadcast of the Al Gore-hosted episode – claimed my attention. And for about twenty-five minutes before THE DISTRICT, I “checked” out such channels as The History Channel, Discovery, National Geographic, and public television.
Post-SOUTH PARK, I joined the family balloon volley ball game in the Family Room and was confronted with The Game Show network, SciFi, and local (Birmingham) news. I also was informed about the Al Gore return in the Family Room, and watched a little of public television (old rhythum and blues performers).

(acerca de 1:07 P.M.) I found the premise of THE DISTRICT most interesting yesterday evening: It is an examination of how individuals deal with a terrorist attack. This attack, which turns out to be not one (oops! I revealed the ending!), gives “birth” to several semi-related subplots. For instance, the character of “Temple” has his dream relived before the camera. One then wonders if an illusionary dream is any more unreal than the next “9/11,” being that nobody (excepting the terrorists) has any idea about when, where, how, etc, the next “9/11” will be! And this, in spite of all the country’s preparation: It is highly unlikely if what precaustions are being taken will make the slightest difference!
The character “Ella Farmer” (played by Lynn Thigpen who died in March) is about to marry “Clyde.” Her nephew and adopted son will give her away. But first “Ricky” decided to call Aunt Ella “Mom.” A lump in my throat developed when I saw this scene!

(acerca de 1:25 P.M.) In my “unsuccessful” quest to correct the “sloppy” road-sidewalk connection (the place where water “stands” during a rain) by the primary entrance to the administration building, I was informed by Milt that CACC use to have a cement saw. I was told that several weeks ago, as well as since then.
One day last week – or the week before – I asked Milt about a saw that is stored in the north east corner of the “shop” (Building “G”). It is a brick saw.
A cement saw.
It is a stand saw: But can’t the blade be transferred to a skill (hand-held) saw housing compartment? Aren’t, basically, a cement saw blade a cement saw blade?
Milt Wilson has been at CACC for over twenty-five years. He is a perfect example of what I was telling Joyce recently: That one can do something incorrectly for twenty years! There is no reason for the CACC campus to be in the poor shape it is! Milt’s neglect and uncaring atitude verges on being “crimes”!

(acerca de 2:09 P.M.) Upper-80°’s (F), clear, and a brilliant sun! Father’s Day 2003 could have been worse: Rain was predicted by the local weather people. And it may be happening in near-by areas! By not here. Not at the moment at least. But maybe I’m premature: The day is still young!
I was hoping that Father’s Day 1997 would signal my first as a father: I may have formed a liaison with Anita Matlow in the first place due to the fact that she had children that would “honor” me as a “father.” What was I thinking? Anita’s and mine first “separation” took place over Father’s Day 1997 and extended to a week or so after my hemorrhoidectomy the first of July! It could be that Father’s Day was pre-separation, but when the kids ignored me, I should have taken it as a warning sign. Only not being honored as a father seem so petty and selfish at the time. Now I realize that the kids or Anita had any intentions of “adopting” me as a father or husband! “I once was lost but now am found! Was blind but now I see!”
The other Father’s Day that stands out in my memory occurred twenty or more years ago: I hinted that an uncle should also be a special person on Father’s Day. I’ll be go to hell if I didn’t have my wish granted! I received a card on Father’s Day!
So as far as I am concerned, Father’s Day sucks! And, as you can see, not just because of my own father!

(acerca de 3:05 P.M.) I have an idea: Why don’t I publish my journal? I read excerpts of the journal kept by Henry David Thoreau and two separate journals from the pen of Dorothy Wordsworth, and my journal tops theirs by far. Even Steve Holt suggested that I publish. And since I really can’t count on anyone after my death, I ought to start looking in to publication now! A lot of money will be required and I will never profit from my writing. But “I may live forever! People will remember my name!” Well, at least academe may!
I must be careful not to seem to be agreeing with the rumors that Nathan Brackeen, a CACC instructor, is homosexual! Who cares? But I must not have a homophobic reputation, no matter if only around Joyce and David!
It was Joyce that gave birth to the rumor in the first place. I must not fall victim to her insularity!

(acerca de 3:51 P.M.) Damn if I didn’t forget the mnemonic: “Thirty days have September/April, June . . .”!
Payday is on June 30: There is no June 31! Joyce brought such to my attention yesterday afternoon as we were taking Deah to the groomer’s, or on the way to bring her home.
Olene Mahaffey gave my a check for $30.00, for three future cuttings of her yard (talk about your future markets!). If it was anyone other than “Orlean,” I would be more business-like in determining my fee. It had to be figured how much was coming to me, to the – get this! – chagrin of granny.

(acerca de 6:45 P.M.) What history tells us about Jesus, or Jesse, he had “special powers.” A branch of the Roman Empire ended his reign. Some might say, of “terror.”
Who is to say that David Keresh didn’t have “special powers”? Both he and Jesus claimed to have been “tight” with God. The F.B.I. and the United States Justice Department, branches of the American Empire, killed David Keresh (Waco, 1993?). What if, in 200 years, disciples of David Keresh write essays of his life and teachings, and, in 150 years, there becomes an anti-Christian campaign due to the fact that the Christians killed David Keresh?
Is it fair to say that one can study the life and work of Gandhi and understand the life and work of Jesus? Each had to deal with an Empire: The former, the British Empire, the latter the Roman Empire.
Have there been more “Jesuses” than the world care to admit, including Martin Luther King, Jr.? Or isn’t it true that Jesus was/is the Son of Man, not the Son of God? In other words, hasn’t Jesus “survived” all these years because humankind needed him to survive?
If you recall, the Baha’i Faith operated under the policy (it may still for all I know) “Each one teach one.” It was (is?) believed that teaching strengthens one spiritually. There was (is?) almost a competition for new members. The spiritual health of the new member was (is?) secondary.
What happened? Many people signed up just to shut up the teacher, or to be with her/his friends, or – whatever. I would suspect that the Baha’i Faith is in a terrible shape today because of such a mis-guilded policy. It is hoped that any religion contemplating this kind of action will re-consider, but I doubt if it will. “And the beat goes, the beat goes on!”

(acerca de 9:14 P.M.) You don’t reckon balloon volley ball has damaged my thumb, do you? I brought this possibility up yesterday evening during the family balloon volley ball game.
Joyce’s analysis of the poem “describing” Degas’ “At The Milliner’s” is framed around sex: The lady in the painting – young – will have a tryst with her butcher boy friend on the Sunday following her visit to the hat store. The butcher – hey, I never thought of this until now! – is a handler of meat. Women are meat to him and the woman of the painting will be losing her virginity to him.
During the late-19th Century when Degas painted “At The Milliner’s,” women were second class citizens of France (not to say everywhere). Basically they were decorations for men and owned by men (their fathers or husbands). Although Cindy Strange, the English 102 instructor, is more concern that each student learn the mechanics of literary analysis, as I told Joyce yesterday evening, one could write a 2-3 page essay on the painting, the poem, and the status of women in the late-19th Century. Joyce isn’t, but she by accident has given me a good idea!

(16th, About 7:39 A.M.) Literary imperialism: Deconstructing a time frame and only selecting the novels, paintings, plays, etc, that adhere to a specific, “preconception.” Of course there were elements of the Middle Ages in the Baroque Period, but historians wanted to make it easy for themselves. It’s not their fault if society at large took the divisions seriously!
Edward Degas probably had no intentions of satirizing the male-dominated society that existed in France at the time. As for the Polish poet – born in 1948 or 1946 – that, decades later, wrote a poem to “At The Milliner’s”: Well, I rather doubt if the poem was any more than a “love letter.”
But why not a feminist analysis? Such a way of approaching a literary work is not as radical as it once was.
A “butcher” dresses meat and makes it appealing to society. The colorful hats are about to beautify the lady and give her an appeal. She is like a cow or pig being fattened for the judge.
I must admit that Joyce came up with a fantastic angle for analysis! The instructor, Cindy Strange, if she is as liberal as Joyce saids, will appreciate the Feminist analysis. And who better to please than the teacher?
I made the comment Saturday evening when the program of old singers was being presented by Alabama Public Television that one of the female singers was the African American Theresa Brewer: Her voice is high-pitched, “dollish,” like Ms. Brewer’s.

(acerca de 8:21 A.M.) Due to the fund-raiser Alabama Public Television is having, THE MCLAUGHLIN GROUP was aired early yesterday: 12:30-12:55 P.M. Whatever time it is on, I count on it to keep me posted on the major goings-on in the world. As holds forth with ABC WORLD NEWS SUNDAY (5:30-6:00).
I also happened to see a re-broadcast of Democratic Presidential candidate John Kerry’s speech in Cedar Rapids, IA, on C-Span, yesterday afternoon during commercial breaks of the ABC NEWS. Kerry probably has the best “shot” to beat George W. Bush in 2004.
For about forty minutes, a program concerning pyramids on TLC held my attention early yesterday evening. The documentary is a good reminder of things that time won’t allow me to study.
I “wrote” a clown piece yesterday. It goes something like this: I am standing at the edge of the stage with a box/gadget in my hands. I finally press the correct buttom and the lights “come on.” I am pleased with myself (I will admit that a brief video clip of Bill Irvin’s stage clown show [or is it Bill Irwin?] “inspired” me, mainly because I thought he handled the “bit” horribly! I saw the video clip on television).
Turning to go, I glance at the audience, then do a double-take, stopping my leaving. I face the audience once more, and “study” it. I then “call” a stage hand over (from stage right). S/he “tells” me that the audience is for me. I am amazed and repeat what I have been “told.”
I am at a “lost” as to what is expected of me. With my eyes, I look down and “point” to my feet. You want me to dance, I “ask.” I then dance.

(acerca de 9:21 A.M.) After thinking “What can I do now?”, visible on my face, I juggle. Another thinking session. I then play violin, either actually playing (obviously it wouldn’t be me, then) or going through the motions while a real violinist plays off-stage.
As I am putting my violin away after playing the first line of “Dueling Banjoes,” the “echo” comes from someplace. I look around, and then take up the challenge, still searching with my eyes and head (the bottom half of me remains in one spot). Somewhere in the duet, I begin playing “Turkey in the Straw.”
Either the second part of this “showpiece,” or a different “gag” altogether: A tenor sings a high note, and I fall from it. The tenor continues singing high notes until I turn his music upside down. He then becomes a bass (this “scene” demands a singer with a wide-range).
If I can’t perform any more, what better service to mime than to write for future performers! Hell no I “ain’t” jealous or resentful!

(acerca de 4:40 P.M.) I busy myself with things that I know good and well won’t get done after I am gone from CACC! Yes folks, as incredible as it seems, I still hold out hope that I will be lured away from CACC! And Milt – or whoever – would have never made “repairs” on the drainage ditch, or fill in many of the water-traps that are scattered “around” campus!
It has been almost eleven months at the CACC “job”: Don’t you think I deserve something better? Last week, riding to CACC with Joyce, I mistakenly said “the other inmates” in a discussion. Or was it a “slip of the tongue”? Might not my sub-conscious be telling the truth? If, indeed, I am an “inmate,” haven’t I served my time with distinction?
It was – is – an upper-80°’s (F) day: A torturous afternoon “under” a Sun that takes no prisoners. I’m sure Rain will rinse the area before Summer takes over officially Saturday!
When I handed my time sheet to Ronnie Harkins to sign, he got a good look at all the hours my book store duty gave me. I got the feeling that he wasn’t pleased at the two weeks of thirty plus hours!

(acerca de 6:51 P.M.) If a child and/or young person were/was raised in isolation, with just his parents, why, they could be faulted for dysfunction of one’s life. But as long as there are clubs (Boy Scouts, etc), religious affiliations, friends, etc, there become other factors that must at least share the blame. Even a sibling or siblings can be a pernicious influence! And when you take into account the contribution of one’s great, great, great, great, great, grandparents – operating via the DNA – why to say that the parents must bear all the responsibility – especially in light of the human genome “break-in” – is not only naïvé, but downright stupid!
Has shovelling “sored” my right thumb? If so, then maybe I can “sue” for Workman’s Comp, or whatever CACC has access to (Joyce told me that as a state agency, CACC “carries” a non-Workman’s Comp health plan)!

(acerca de 7:15 P.M.) In questioning Bill’s parenting skills last week – I forgot what brought the “attack” on – Joyce said that she might as well build Kayla a room here! I had stated that, if Bill and Leslie have difficulty tolerating Kayla at four, in ten years they will go nuts!
Maybe it was the day after Bill “acted” out spanking Kayla after the child ran crying to “Nana’s” room when he came for her.
But the point I want to make is: In ten years, odds are that granny will be dead. That would mean one vacant room. Hopefully I will be let loose from Childersburg by 2013! That’ll be two rooms!
I deposited half of the thirty dollars that “Orlean” paid me yesterday. The other half is petty cash.
$1.61 for cigarettes from Allen’s Food Mart: The raison d’etre for petty cash!

(17th, About 7:48 A.M.) Ed Richardson, Superintendent of Education, and Bob Riley, governor, are just two of the state officials that are blackmailing the voters of Alabama to approve the tax-increases, with threats of “cuts” to public education. It is yet another of the many ways that education has been used for political purposes and not because of the benefits to the people!
The term “national security” is also abused! If you ever hear a person insist that something is vital for “national security,” be very suspicious of the something wanted!
Several months ago I was told by Joyce, in the car as I was being driven to work, that the carport would be converted into a room for me: That was less expensive than having a room added to the house.
Then David relocated to Tuscaloosa and the housing plan wasn’t mentioned again.
But now David is back: Will the plan be resurrected? I hope and “pray” that I will be “lured” away _er here, freeing this room for David! But is this fantasy only just that: A fantasy?

(acerca 8:19 A.M.) During one of the “guinea pigships” at the university hospital – 1985 or early-1986 – I was watching the MCNEIL-LEHRER REPORT. The public television newshow discussed the dilemma facing trumpeter Wynton Marsalis, who had apparently just graduated from Juilliard Music School: Should he focus on classical or Jazz? Several of the interviewers stated that the difference genre of music required different physical lip qualities that must be developed, that playing both classical and jazz was virtually impossible. One “talking head,” however, suggested that Marsalis could do both.
The MCNEIL-LEHRER REPORT became THE NEWSHOUR WITH JIM LEHRER (5:30-6:25 P.M., P.B.S.), which, for about forty-five minutes yesterday evening kept me glued to the “tube.” And Wynton Marsalis? Well, he went on to play mainly jazz, but classical music wasn’t neglected. In addition, he is one of the “guests” on KEN BURNS’ AMERICAN STORIES “Jazz” (8-9:53 P.M., P.B.S.).
For what it’s worth, I missed about twenty minutes of the show.
After Jazz I led – forced – Deah on a walk – I was craving a cigarette. The sky was being lit up with “heat” lightning. Damn if it wasn’t as if the gods were demonstrating the technique of “Bop” Jazz as it developed from “swing”! There are differences between “swing” and “Bop,” but this is all I know! What those differences are I couldn’t tell you! But as a humanist, isn’t it sufficient to know that there is a difference?
During “Jazz,” the Thunder added the drumming to the lecture-demonstration: And I understand that the drumming in “Bop” changed radically from that of “swing.”
Rain and Wind provided “filler” music to “round” out the sound.
What a beautiful “Jam” session the gods were having! Was it a co-incidence that the lightning flashed at almost the exact pace as “Bop” does?

(acerca de 9:14 A.M.) Richard Pereles thought of himself as an expert on Jazz music. Of course compared to me at the time, he was: One of the reasons for our “friendship” was the “knowledge” of jazz that I could glean from him. As a “drummer,” I was informed as to who Gene Krupa was. This schooling took place in 1993 in Louisville, KY, when I was living with Richard and his wife.
During his active drumming days in 1987 on Carson and Barnes Circus, he “roomed” with a man named Art, the organ-player. Late one evening, Richard played the film AFTER MIDNIGHT on a television set located in the “Sweat Box” room (dormitories cut into the sides of a tractor-trailer) that he and Art shared. Starring Dexter Gordon, AFTER MIDNIGHT is a semi-documentary of the world of jazz music. I don’t remember much of the movie: I was tired from the evening performance (or of Sunday, the afternoon show) and Sleep separated me from the film.
The writers of THE DISTRICT think like terrorists if the episode aired this past Saturday is any indication. A person will infect her- or himself with a deadly virus and come to the United States? Such might happen! The country needs thinkers like these writers in the Department of Homeland Security to come up with worse-case scenarios! Imaginative Counter-terrorists: The country ‘s only defense against the next “9/11”!

(acerca de 4:49 P.M.) I remember thinking – my God, this was 1968-69! – while a fellow student – it was my first year at the University of Alabama – playing a piano in Patty Hall – a dormitory near my residence, Friedman Hall – that I could discern no difference between a “tinkering” by an “amateur” piano-player, and a concert pianist. What’s the big deal? Why do people idolize a classical pianist?
Although I still have trouble telling the difference, I am at least more open-minded on the subject.
Remembering a thirty-five year old thought! That’s pretty good, don’t you think so?
The high-80°’s (F) dared Rain to cross a line in the sand! Being a low-down sneaky “varmit,” Rain instead changed form and attacked as Humidity!

(acerca de 5:28 P.M.) Studying Modern Humanities will let you know about ancient Greece and Rome at the same time. How so? Well, every “age” has new technology to confront. With only slight variation, people, no matter the year – past, present, or future – react (and will react) the same to state-of-the-art technology.
At one time the wheel was as amazing as the internet is now! Think about it!
What if: In 4-5 months, Saddam Hussein surrenders to the International Court, or some such world tribunal, and in his trial, offers testimony that embarrasses the United States and George W. Bush? Or, as was suggested on THE MCLAUGLIN GROUP this past Sunday, does the United States have Saddam already in custody secretly to prevent just such a disclosure?

(acerca de 8:38 P.M.) Correct me if I’m wrong – which I’m sure I am – but a 50-pound weight has twice as many “whores” trying to interest gravity in their bodies as a 25-pound weight. It is up to the weight-lifter to keep the “whores” from their “Johns.”
I will try to say it better: A weight-lifter must approach the barbell as if she or he is angry with it! As far as s/he is concerned, there is only one tiny particle to separate from gravity. There just happens to be a hundred or more of those tiny particles, each one trying desperately to hide behind gravity, and escape being dragged from home!
Not exactly a brilliant description of weight-lifting, is it? Or the application of Newton’s theory of matter as applicable to weight-lifting! Can I have one more chance?
Every school child knows, “For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.” Less known is that the above is one of Newton’s laws of motion. Obviously the law is directed at the physical world. But what the hell, I don’t think that Issac would care i_ it was borrowed by another rhelm: Namely, biology. A person may behave the way s/he does because the DNA is confronted with something requiring an equal and opposite reaction: Change the environment, change the behavior.
It’s just a thought! I sincerely hope things don’t happen that way, but there’s always a possibility that they do, albeit a small possibility!

(18th, About 7:22 A.M.) There was a shower room. Connected to it was a night club.
The door to the shower room was opened. As a matter of fact the door between the shower room and the night club was open.
A young female (plain-looking) was bathing (shower). I must have walked into the shower room: I saw the female naked. No body seemed to care. Or that I showered. The night club, opposite the ante-room (?), went on as usual.
There was a group of 4-5 young females in the corner of the shower room (just inside and to the left of the door to the ante-room). I male and female sat a table in the doorway to the night club, but they were facing the night club. The nakedness going on behind them was of no interest.
Some dream, huh? And that’s the naked truth!
Before I went to work Monday, granny griped that I hadn’t cleared the yard of leaves and limbs. Well, my assistant has been doing it: Wind, a part of Storm’s team, has nearly made a clean-sweep of the yard! I thought such may happen before I mowed it! Either that or the Wind would have angrily scattered any roadside stack or leaves and limbs to Hell and back before the scheduled Monday collection by the city! I do know what I’m doing! That is hard to believe, huh? You’re not the first to think that!

(acerca de 8:04 A.M.) You don’t know about the anxiety attack I had Monday evening! It was especially “fierce” during the late evening walk with Deah: The animal didn’t want to go forward with lightning flashing all around her, and I had to pick her up. I called her a “fucking bitch.”
There was a reason for the state of mind I was in: Not a good reason, but a reason nonetheless! KEN BURNS’ AMERICAN STORIES presentation of “Jazz” had inspired a lot of notes. I had almost overloaded myself. Hell, I wasn’t facing a deadline! But I was wondering how I would transfer all the notes the next day (yesterday). Sure, I did most, but there are still 2-3 awaiting “journalizing”!
Clowning is improvisational, making art on the spot. There is a declared beginning and end (blow-off). The “middle” is the performer’s personal “statement,” if you will.
Well, jazz music is like that: A song has a definite beginning and end. But getting from “A” to “Z” is personal.
So why would I insist that art, like science, must be “repeatable”? Otherwise it is just a “fluke”? How can I believe in “repeatable” art and improvisation at the same time? Doesn’t the latter make the former impossible?
Not really! Improvisational means more than “winging” it or just making something up. It is a piece of music – or a clown “gag” – that does not demand that it be played – or performed – at a certain speed, the counting done in a particular way, etc. Each player – or clown – contribute her/his own speed, count, etc, to the composition – or clown “gag.” This is what we call “style.”
However, this improv is repeatable: Once a style and a presenter – music or clowning – finally meet, the presenter is very reluctant to let the “style” go. She or he will, albeit subconsciously, “repeat” the style over and over again. How else was Wynton Marsalis or Brandon Marsalis able to demonstrate examples of playing by a “legend” of jazz?

(acerca 9:10 A.M.) It was past 8:35 when Kayla went home yesterday evening, having come home with me via Bill around 4:25 yesterday afternoon. Even though I had written a little while Kayla was in residence, it was only after her departure that I did my two “r”’s – and one “j”: Reading ‘riting, and juggling. I had no time to spare for television. But THE NEWS WITH BRIAN WILLIAMS (9-10:00 P.M., CNBC) accomplanied my snacking for about ten minutes. Mr. Williams made it clear that one may have all the talent in the world, along with good-looks and money. But if one doesn’t have the organization, one had no hope for “success.” Whether it’s a “run” for the presidency, an entry into show business, publishing a novel, or a hundred other things, one doesn’t get there traveling alone. It is like I told David last week (he was taking me to work): One must have help to “get what you want!”.
The only way one of the democrats will replace George W. Bush in 2004 is by “out-Bushing” him! The people don’t really have a say in the selection. I’m sorry, you didn’t actually think the people did, did you? I hate to dis-illusion you, but . . .
John Kennedy, Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan, George W. Bush: Democratically-elected presidents? I don’t think so! It would take the rest of my life to tell you the performers, writers, painters, etc, that are or were “professional” as a result of other people’s action, and not because they deserve it!

(acerca de 4:46 P.M.) The opposition in Iraq actually believed the Bush administration when it told them that it (the opposition) would have a role in post-Saddam Iraq! Do you believe that? I mean, is that naïvé or is that naïvé?!
Liberators my ass! The United States is the occupying force of post-Saddam Iraq! And it “ain’t” going to share power with anybody! The thing about it, most Americans don’t want it (the United States) to!
When I left CACC around 4:20, Rain was showing off. But upon arrival home, Phoebus had the “stage”! The road was dry. Apparently, Rain didn’t present Its street show in this neighborhood!
The upper-80°’s (F) kept the pressure building until finally the water burst Its seams. Rain had been held at the sweat-level most of the afternoon.

(acerca de 5:22 P.M.) Imagine what a flash flood would to the drainage ditch out at the school! The “mad-as-hell” water would clean the mud that still lies in the ditch! We all are aware of the fighting power of water: Hell hath no fury like pissed-off water!
Is “flicking my Bic” damaging my thumb? In other words, is the demon of cigarette-smoking showing up in a place least expected?

(19th, About 7:49 A.M.) A 16-wheeler has “damaged” the slope on the inside of the road that winds around Building “F.” As you recall I made repairs on the depression that vehicles made on “cutting” the corner, and turning prematurely. But this time I “laid” a brick foundation before covering it with dirt, mud, and sod.
I don’t mention this in order to congradualate myself: Although I should! CACC would be a “holey” mess without me! No! I just want you to know of Milt’s reaction (and most likely generally shared by the majority of CACC staffers): He is patronizing, as if he feels my “obsession” with the depressions and water-drainage systems “around” campus is a sign of a sick mind. Although I shouldn’t allow the opinion of people like Milt Wilson reflect on the quality and/or usefulness of what I do! Considering that Milt has been at CACC for over twenty years and things are as bad as they are, tell me: Who has the “sick” mind?
On the other hand, I doubt if Milt could have lasted twenty years at CACC if he had displayed “initiative” and semi-independence!
And please don’t think that CACC is unique: The C.I.A., the F.B.I., and the other agencies in charge of our safety are afflicted by the same problem. What a scarey thought!

(acerca de 8:18 A.M.) During the presidency of Jimmy Carter, there was a television show CARTER COUNTRY. When Bill Clinton was in the White House, Burt Reynolds starred in a television sit-com EVENING SHADE, (?) AR. Both Carter and Clinton were Democratic presidents. I trying to think: Have any of the recent Republican presidents have a television program concurrent with their administrations?
THE WEST WING is patterned on a generic Democratic White House. The show is very popular. It makes you wonder how a Republican presidency can survive. Sure, people’s real lives are as conservative as ever and becoming more so. But that doesn’t explain t__ almost total invincibility of the Bush administration! There could only be one thing to account for the “success” of the Bush administration! And I have “harped” on it over and over again! You must know to what I am referring!
Coming home with me around 4:20, Kayla didn’t leave until about 7:55 P.M. I was all prepared to watch DANCE IN AMERICA “San Francisco Ballet’”s production of Lar Lubovitch’s “Othello” (8:30-10:00 P.M., P.B.S.), but David sumons me to play balloon volley ball. I am learning not to take television seriously, especially given the fact that a re-broadcast is not out of the question!
What that Thunder that just banged the “outside” of the sky? Does It have a summons from Rain?

(acerca de 4:40 P.M.) Maybe there was something in the bloodletting to cure diseases, years ago! I felt terrific after I donated a pint of blood around 3:10 this afternoon!
Or was it the air conditioned bus? It was awfully hot today: The low-90°’s (F) melted Rain’s water and Humidity took the steam over. As “they” say, I sweated like a pig!
It’s late, what can I say! But Kayla handed me last month’s paystub, which Joyce had handed her to give to me. $516.70: That’s what CACC injected into my account on the thirteenth of May.

(acerca de 5:14 P.M.) I overheard Mike (Eric McLain’s assistant at CACC) “explaining” to the air conditioning instructor that the “F1, F2 . . . F5” label placed on tornadoes refer to the damage done, not the winds. The strength of a tornado, therefore, is determined after the fact.
I asked David about this when I was home, and he said that was basically the case.
Mike has been watching either The Weather Channel, The Discovery Channel, or TLC.
The reason for my pressence at the shop in the first place was to remind Mike and/or Eric that the overhead air conditioning unit in the administration building – across from cosmotology – was watering the floor. Mike told me he was aware of that fact. I suppose he was, because in about twenty minutes I checked to make sure: An inmate had, or was, mopped, or mopping, up the water and a pail had been co-erced into catcher duty.

(acerca de 5:49 P.M.) David is “on edge,” to say the least! His jolilessness is proving hard to handle and manage, emotionally. I well know how he feels.
When Kayla was here Tuesday evening, she told David to “get out of my house,” referring to her play area. David was dis-connecting the internet line from the telephone “jack.”
After Kayla had “insulted” David, he “escaped” to Joyce’s room. Now, there may not have been a connection: Kayla’s remarks may only have been co-incidental. But if there was a cause and effect, the tension that David is under is very similar to that which I had to operate under when Leslie and David were young! I refer specifically to the incident of the evening news: It was at granny’s former house on Fifth Avenue. David was, oh, eight or so. I was wanting to watch the news, and David wouldn’t be quiet. So I angrily turned the volume up as much as it would go.

(acerca de 6:26 P.M.) It was the early-1980’s, or maybe 1985: David was in the upper level of school. He and his mother lived on 5th Avenue, S.W., across from granny’s house (although granny may have lived with Joyce and David at this time). I would play games with David on the computer in his room. I would get angry and react like a child when David would beat me and then laugh at my incompetence.
David inherited the wrong thing from me!
When Kayla left, David came out of is hiding place, and “insisted” on playing balloon volley ball, just as if he was demanding equal time from “Nana/mama”!
God is to be damned for what S/He took from me and gave to David!
The sky is cracking open as I write these words. So it was the lower-90°’s that were holding the cracks together! The lower-80°’s have easily been overpowered by the combined pressure of the gods’ pushing on the other side of the sky!

(acerca de 7:10 P.M.) I was putting “brown frosting” (mud) on the “cake” (the corner-cutting repair by Building “_”) yesterday afternoon when Milt, in the CACC truck, stopped to talk. It was determined that the 16-wheelers – and other vehicles; for 16-wheelers are not the only guilty parties – will press the bricks into the ground. Milt eventually got around to telling me that he will direct the inmates, on Monday, to clear the weeds around the marble-gravel pile that is located in the dump. I knew as soon as he told me this that it will never happen! It was only a hint. Milt does that a lot, you see!
From Allen’s Food Mart, a pack of Columbus (ulta-lights, 100’s) cigarettes for $1.61. Now I can avoid downtown tomorrow!

(acerca de 8:54 P.M.) Several weeks ago, a male on television was praising the “overloaded” life of people, especially children, stating that humans have advanced to the point that they are getting out of life what they are suppose to. That the quality of life is improving.
But isn’t the “high-level” life robbing children of their childhood? And it really isn’t the parents fault: Assuming that society is a meritocracy (pretend, can’t you?), there is such stiff competition to be accepted by the best schools, and therefore a good job, that a parent has no choice but to overdo her/his child’s résumé. What’s going to happen is that people will have their childhood later in life! And that could very well be an ugly sight!

(20th, About 8:1_ A.M.) I could hear her screaming hysterically as I walked away from the vet’s office! It was all I could do to keep from running back and cancelling the teeth-cleansing!
Please God, don’t let the trauma of what she thinks is abandonment be too much for her little heart! Please don’t let my fear of yesterday evening come to past: That it was the last evening walk that I will ever have with her!
Deah and I started the hike early this morning: Around 6:45. The dew was heavy and she may have ingested some water, contrary to the doctor’s orders. But please, oh please! don’t let it turn out that Deah was walking to her death!
Deah panicked when I put her in a kennel: And I did too! It was one of the worse things I have ever had to do!

(acerca de 8:45 A.M.) It must be terribly painful to leave one’s child on the first day of school, or for a hospital stay, or for summer camp, or etc.! I don’t know if I am up to it!
When reporters and journalists state that the general public doesn’t care if weapons of mass destruction are found in Iraq, they are absolutely correct: A lot of people would be more than happy to have a Christian theocracy controlling Iraq, now that Saddam Hussein is no longer in power (but for how long?).
Isn’t it ironic that George W. Bush is hailed as a “strong leader” by many in this country, when a “strong leader” in Baghdad in the person of one Saddam Hussein was viewed as an adbomination! Or was it only envy and jealousy: These same Bush supporters secretly want George W. Bush to be a dictator like Saddam!
About fifteen minutes of the first “half” and about twenty minutes of Part II: THE NEWSHOUR WITH JIM LEHRER (5:30-6:26 P.M., P.B.S.) yesterday will bound to “inspire” future reports! But will OCEAN WILDS (8:00-9:53 P.M., P.B.S.)?

(acerca de 10:00 A.M.) Is Deah “behind” the recurring fantasy that won’t leave me alone: I engage in sex with a female young enough to be my daughter? In fact, my dream lover is my daughter! In other words, am I having “psychical” sex with Deah?

(acerca de 10:13 A.M.) I remember a conversation I had with Milt Wilson Wednesday (?) afternoon around 2:40 P.M.: I was leaning against the outside of the driver’s side of the CACC truck that Milt drives. We were discussing the wood chips. Ronnie had told me that that they were primarily for the “mini-parks” of the walking track. What was left over would be used to decorate the ground under the bushes and trees in front of the campus.
Just the opposite was told Milt. The point is moot, however, now: Milt and the inmates have spread wood chips under the trees and bushes.
This is why I work at my own pace and on self-assigned projects!
I was explaining to David during our trip to CACC Wednesday morning about small-circus politics versus Ringling: The politics would be, and I’ve no doubt are, a lot worse on the latter show. I was using the circus analogy to television: The bigger the station, the more crap one must tolerate!
Imagine how a 4-year university must be like, if the working atmosphere of CACC is like it is!.

(acerca de 12:41 P.M.) No Deah, I would never leave town without you, in spite of what Michelle thinks!
Since David’s “hogging” of the telephone line for the internet takes up most of the day, I telephone Dr. Moulin’s office Thursday morning while David was still sleeping. I explained why I was calling: That Deah would be having her teeth cleaned the next day, that I would be away from a phone the afternoon.
Due to my “piss-poor” communication “over” a telephone, Michelle (Burdick, Leslie’s childhood friend, whose father lives close-by) inferred that I would be leaving town later in the day and was “hinting” about boarding Deah that night (yesterday evening).
When Michelle finally understood what I was getting at, she told me the information I sought: No water or food for the Dog after about 10:00 P.M.
Michelle still thinks that I will be out of town today: She referred to such this morning when I “left” Deah!
The only night that I was away from Deah – not counting my hospital stay for a hemorrhoidectomy in July 1997 in Tallahassee, FL, and maybe when the animal was “fixed” about two years ago – was the Mexico Beach, Florida, trip with Anita Matlow and children in the Spring of 1997 (?), in order to attend the family memorial service for Anita’s aunt Ann. That temporary separation shouldn’t have happened except for Anita’s lying: It had always been her intention to deceive me, from the start!
I was watching a movie with Robert and Jo Clifton, and Jo’s children John and Dulce. It was at a real movie house in Birmingham (or the Birmingham area). The year was, what, 1977.
During an intermission in the film (or was it after the movie had ended?) I was still aseated when I saw Leslie walking “up” the aisle to my left. It seems she had attended the movie with Michelle and Michelle’s parents. Half-jokingly, I had pleated “no money” to Leslie. She provided whatever I needed. Did she have money, or did she “borrow” it from the Burdicks?
I remember granny commenting on what I had done and that I should pay Leslie back, suggesting that, yes, she had bummed from the Burdicks! I wonder if it’s too late to thank Robert Burdick?

(acerca de 1:39 P.M.) The Mexico Beach excursion was Easter weekend: I had promised to work the community-wide Easter Egg Hunt that Sunday (Easter) afternoon. Anita had swore to me that I would be back in time. When it was “decided” to spend the Saturday/Sunday over night, Anita told me that I was not being paid, anyway! Yes, but a promise is a promise!
Another warning sign that I allowed to slip “through my fingers”!
Whenever the “other evening” was, David confesed that Bill did g___ work: There was a playhouse featured on Home and Garden Television, and Joyce said Bill could probably build one for Kayla. For, after all, he had built Dame a dog house. Then she (Joyce) stated that Kayla would be too old by the time Bill got around to building a playhouse.
Many people can sing, dance, and act well: They are gifted non-professionals. However, when singing, dancing, or acting becomes a job, one must be more concern with doing it on demand rather than doing it well! There’s nothing whatsoever wrong with being a gifted non-professional! In fact, I would advise a person, if s/he really cares about the quality __ something, to remain a gifted non-professional!
Only a “gifted non-professional” such as Bill Reeves is not dependable. And I would rather have a reliable mediocre that I can depend on than a gifted non-professional I can’t!

(acerca de 3:09 P.M.) If I had to choose between Deah dying or Jane (my sister) dying, I’ll choose the latter in a heartbeat!
Without hesitation!
The same goes for a choice between Deah and Anita Matlow, Doug Green, Mary Holt: Hell, even my own mother! For Deah has done much more for me in eight years than granny has in 53!
Another weigh-in by the upper-80°’s (F)! Will Storm confront Them face-to-face in the ring? If so, will Storm wins, as It usually does?

(21st, About 8:21 A.M.) I can’t swear to it, but I think I dreamed about a young females that had no breasts: Not even nipples! Whatever for?
While living at 305 Piney Road in Tallahassee, FL, I remember taking Keeper and her son Peabody, Anita Matlow’s chow-chows (she had one more), to a vet on South Monroe, on the up side of a hill (going to the capital) at the intersection of some unremembered street. An Auto Zone store was immediately to the north, on the same side of the street (east).
Whatever was done to Keeper and Peabody, the charges were around $150. I was more than glad to pay that much: After all, I am a dog/animal lover. Anita suggested as much.
$156.80 is a lot of money, but Deah is well worth it! The actual dental cleaning was only $75.00, but to my “horror,” she had to have seven teeth pulled! All because I have neglected her dental health all these years! (Deah is eight years old this summer: I don’t know exactly. Her birthday anniversary is listed at Dr. Moulin’s as June 1, 1995. That date is as good as any!)
Joyce told me (and granny also) about two months ago that Sheila Mitchell (a CACC employee that works in the same suite [113] as Joyce) had to have her dog put to sleep: It needed an expensive ($300?) proceedure in order to live and Sheila chose not to “buy” life for the animal. If it had been me and I had the money, I would have spared no expense for Deah! Of course, I don’t have any human children to take top priority!

(acerca de 8:54 A.M.) Even though it is a pathetic, horrible comment on organized education, I was in graduate school before I learned the proper mechanics of technical writing! It was the Fall semester 1998, and it was the Writing Center at Florida State University and not in-class, that introduced me to the correct construction: A youngish white male brought the light to me.
So I shouldn’t be so “upset” that Joyce uses Leslie and/or David as her writing consultant(s). In addition to being her children, I’m sure that both can do something as simple as write a formal paper!
While en route to school last Wednesday with David, I explained to him that I’m no longer tried for a major job since granny can’t get the information that a telephone contact provides, correct, or will intentionally sabotage a communication if she doesn’t think I should get it, and/or if I had failed to inform her of the contact (as if I knew all of the requests that may come my way!).
What I didn’t tell David was that he adds to my problem: With internet access blocking any telephone contacts, I only have about an hour or two available to me in the mornings! What’s so maddeningly, no one cares!

(acerca de 9:26 A.M.) I have always thought that “shingles” was another name for hemorrhoids. But no! David and Joyce were discussing late-evening talk show host David Letterman and his health problems. Heart or shingles? When I confesed to thinking “shingles” was hemorrhoids, Joyce “corrected” me: “Shingles” is a type of chicken pox of the nerve-endings, usually in the lower thoxas. And according to a medical dictionary, “shingles” is another name for herpes zoster, and is, indeed, a form of chicken pox!
I don’t know more than I know! This is the only thing that makes life worth living, knowing that there is something out there that I should know!

(acerca de 12:31 P.M.) Kayla left us around 10:15 this morning with “Nana,” having been brought over here by Leslie around 2:30 P.M. yesterday.
While on the way to “pick up” Deah from the “dentist” yesterday afternoon, Joyce and I “discussed” granny’s infantile behavior of yesterday afternoon: Kayla didn’t want to play with granny at first, and she (granny) went to her room and pouted in the fetal position. I was informed by Joyce that David had told her that granny had said something like, “If Kayla doesn’t want to play with me, then fine!”
Eighty-five or not, Kayla is not a play thing for granny’s amusement! The puerile response from granny only re-inforces Kayla’s “one-track mind”! Hell, she wanted to give all her attention to David!
It is not that granny is getting old: She has always been like that! It’s that we – Joyce and I – are aging and no longer wish to tolerate granny’s ways! What are we afraid of: That we will turn out like that? Are we desperately trying to escape the inevitable?

(acerca de 3:13 P.M.) This first official day of Summer 2003 is a “compassionate conservative” – the mid-80°’s – as was the first few months of the Bush administration. But we all know how that presidency is turning out! Maybe summer won’t follow suit!
Phoebus is a fine Secretary of State: For now. Let’s see how It will be in August!
I swore I would never again shop at Bargain Town after what it did to me in October 2001! But it was too convenient to do otherwise. Besides, maybe Bargain Town did me a favor. That has yet to be determined!

(Purchased from Dollar General Store #4339 in Childersburg, AL, at 11:11 A.M. on Friday, March 21, 2003, for $2.16)

(22nd, About 8:26 A.M.) Toothpaste and a toothbrush from Bargain Town ($1.00 each), and two journal notebooks from CVS ($3.99 apiece).
David and I had taken the lawn mower over to Leslie’s and Bill’s, along with a rented video. David had been kind enough to allow me the quick shopping spree.
And you were right, David: Bill didn’t have the lawn mower repaired by yesterday evening! It was the longest day of the year and grass-cutting would have been a great way to celebrate the summer solstice! But such wasn’t meant to be! I just hope that David’s other prediction doesn’t come to fruition: That it will be 2-3 weeks before Bill gets around to the lawn mower! The grass will be out-of-controll in such a case, being that it is damn near unmanageable as it is!
Originally, Joyce had told granny, yesterday morning, that David would take her grocery shopping at Wal-Mart. However, that plan didn’t suit granny: She complained to Joyce that David rushes her. It’s true: Granny walks up and down the aisles, hoping, I suppose, that the prices will magically change. Joyce “babys” granny too much and allows the protracted shopping. Joyce really doesn’t have the right to complain about granny’s grocery-buying policy: She is responsible for it! But as do a lot of people, Joyce manipulates “things” in a certain way, and expects other people to follow without comment!
Joyce worked yesterday after she dropped Kayla off at her (Kayla) house.
Joyce told David to forget taking granny shopping. She (Joyce) stated to granny that she (Joyce) didn’t have time for shopping. Of course, then granny pouted!

(acerca de 9:05 A.M.) While going for Deah Friday afternoon (by way of Allen’s Food Mart), Joyce and I had decided that funeral homes and graveyards are the last “acceptable” vestiges of segregation (I had inquired about the funeral home across from Piggly Wiggly, east of highway 280). It was to be expected that Joyce justified the “separate but equal” unstated segregation policy as a cultural difference between whites and blacks. Maybe there is, maybe there isn’t! But neither race – it is not surprising that the White one doesn’t – objects!
Before Kayla went home Saturday, she called her parents. Even though not in use, David had the internet line connected to the telephone wall “jack” in the Family Room. I found that to be the case Thursday morning. The telephone in the kitchen is not affected, however.
David was lying down, during Kayla’s telephone conversation, in the Family Room, on the couch, his head to the south. Joyce rushed from the kitchen and demanded that he (David) fix the telephone and declared that he is never to do that again. Needless to say, David was confused as to Joyce’s behavior. Granted, David is inconsiderate with his internet, but Joyce’s reaction to it, which is inconsistent, was uncalled for! If Kayla puts her in such a foul mood, don’t have the child over!

(acerca de 9:40 A.M.) Due to an afternoon nap (about 1 ½ hours), I was able to stay up and watch “Finest Hour” (10:02-midnight [or 11:56], P.B.S.), a first-person account of the British participation in WORLD WAR II. It was the first of a 2-part series.
It slowly “hit” me how much I didn’t know until graduate school, especially with one of the talking heads spoke of Dante’s “Inferno”! I’m so thankful that the realization came about gradually: Otherwise, the shock may have proven too much to take!
Senator John Kerry, Democratic candidate for president, spoke at the Democratic Presidential Candidate Forum in Iowa earlier this month. C-Span aired the appearance yesterday. I watched it from about 7:45 P.M., until about 8:45 P.M.
Of all the candidates to try and upseat George W. Bush next year, Kerry has the best chance. In fact, if Al Gore was in the “running,” John Kerry would out do him! Quite possibly the 2000 election would have been vastly different if John Kerry had been the Democratic candidate instead of Gore!
Of course, we all know that it takes much more than looks and talk to take over the White House! If George W. Bush is, indeed, unbeatable in 2004, it’s not from his ability: The Bush organization may be just too “strong” to “break”! As I stated before, it’s going take someone to out Bush Bush!

(acerca de 10:20 A.M.) “. . . This tremendous event is still on its way, still wandering . . . deeds require time even after they are done, before they can be seen and heard . . .” One could very well deconstruct’s Nietzsche’s “The Gay Science” (The Madman) and “prove” that: #1. 9/11 could have been caused by the sin of slavery as opposed to the lack of prayer in schools; #2. A person may be as s/he is due to a remote relative’s DNA. I’m sure Nietzsche never meant either of the above, but he is a source that people will easily accept!
Someone dumped a load of gords in the ditch by the Nursing School (the end nearest the walking track, on the “bank” of the nursing building’s side). The dumpage occurred on Wednesday. I pointed it out to Milt as he was leaving that afternoon, around 3:30: He said that he would investigate the gords the next morning. Guess what folks? Nothing had changed the “next morning”! Did I really think they would have?
Gords are squash. Gords contain seeds for new plants. Was somebody hoping for new life?

(acerca de 11:40 A.M.) No doubt you have heard the saying, “10% inspiration and 90% perspiration” in regards to writing. It is true, of course: One shouldn’t rely on a constant stream of inspiration when one writes for a living. But allow me to present an alternate interpretation: Writing, whether fiction, poetry, a teleplay, a stage play, or whatever, is more of a science that an “art.” The “10% inspiration” is the so-called treatment, the plot if you will. It is the easy part of writing. But it is not what distinguishes “good writing” from “bad writing.” It’s the “90% perspiration” that counts: The rhythum of the piece, the balance, the contrast, the use of punctuation (as E.B. White declared) – the whole “9 yards,” as “they” say, of external construction. The inspiration or stream of consciousness, can be trained to be there consistently. However, the science – the above is the “art” – of writing must be laboriously practiced. It indeed, takes 90% of the time. One must have patience: The science of writing is boring and frustrating. But without it, writing is only a transcribed fantasy or dream!

(acerca de 1:16 P.M.) In playing balloon volley ball Friday evening, David gave Kayla’s hair the label “Mona Lisa” (granny’s locks are George Washington). David said “Mona” several times: I whispered to hum that it sounds like he was saying “Mono,” short for mononucleosis, the so-called “Kissing disease.” Long time ago, “mono” was considered a “dirty” disease like syphilis. I was only half-joking when I told David that “Mona” sounded like “mono.” But Joyce “corrected” me and said that mononucleosis wasn’t “nasty.” I then “explained” to David about the long-ago reputation “mono” had.
Journal-writing is the reverse of what I stated in the previous sub-entry: It is 90% inspiration and 10% perspiration. Obviously, there is no science to journal-writing: One just puts down “treatments”! But you have my permission to “screenlized” whatever you see of interest in this journal!

(acerca de 2:00 P.M.) I remember telling Flip Bayless (“clown” with Carson and Barnes Circus), in the late-1980’s, that the older one gets, the less sleep one needs. I don’t think she believed me, judging from the response I recall that greeted the “announcement.”
“Are the ‘talking heads’ remembering correctly? Are they intentionally enlarging their war experience to be seen as important?” I couldn’t help but wonder as I watched FINEST HOUR yesterday evening. Eye-witness history can be misleading as after-the-fact history by the victors! And when its one and the same, there’s trouble ahead!
The mid-80°’s (F): This first full day of Summer 2003 is “mild” enough. But just wait until Summer gets a mind of Its own, and stops copying Spring! The It won’t be so “mild,” will It?

(acerca de 2:46 P.M.) According to a two-member panel (the editors of two magazine) that I saw on C-Span yesterday evening (what kind of meeting was it?), John Kennedy used uni-lateralism, pre-emptiveness as a foreign policy in Vietnam, and in the Bay of Pigs. (The male editor stated such). Hitler employed a pre-emptive strike when he initiated the blitzkrieg in France. So Mr. Bush, I wouldn’t feel so cocky if I were you! The United States lost in the Vietnam War! And as for being compared to Adolph Hitler, who in their right mind would want to be?

(acerca de 4:00 P.M.) The three “G”’s: Glory, Gold, and Gospel. I can vaguely recall the “discussion” in Junior high school or below, in reference to, was it Cortez and the Aztecs? That is exactly what’s at work in Iraq! The “Glory” of the United States displaying its superior military might to the rest of the world. The “Gold”: Many companies will benefit from the created market now that the United States “owns” Iraq. Hell, it may already be happening! The “Gospel”: Many Americans want to “Christianized” Iraq. There are many “Islam-phobes” in the U.S.: What, did you think Bill Reeves is unique? Unfortunately, there are way too many of his kind!
Now, I’m sure the “Glory” and the “Gold” were and are foremost in the administration’s mind! It was the reasons for the “war” in the first place. Surely you’re not naivé to think that the fear of weapons of mass destruction or to export democracy to the region were really ever serious justifications! They sound good and they’re good for George W. Bush’s political career. As is the third “G”: Opening the door for a Christian theocracy, ridding the world of Islam.
The “new” policy of pre-emptive warfare is not so “new” after all!
In Vietnam, the “saving the country from communism” was a justification for pre-emption.
The Bush administration is taking the country back even further than the Reagan administration did!

(acerca de 8:36 P.M.) “Picture Sicily (or rather Childersburg, AL), 1936 (how about the late-1950’s?).
I can still see it! Unfortunately I can’t recall much of what I see!
Daddy Mack “ordered” us kids – Jane, Linda, Joyce, and moi – to walk in front of a power mower, in search of rocks. I asked Joyce about this: Her memory of it isn’t as good as mine! Did Daddy Mack make the mower? Was it when power mowers first came out?
Was it preventive punishment, so we wouldn’t get any ideas about introducing rocks into the yard?
I was thinking of this nearly-45-year old event prior to and while mowing the yards the evening: I only have “half” of the front yard of this house, which I can do in fifteen or so minutes tomorrow!

(23rd, About 8:50 A.M.) I remember dreaming. However, I don’t remember the dream! I remember trying to remember it, and I did for a few minutes! Or at least I thought I did! I don’t need to tell you how tricky dreams can be! If they don’t want to be taken from Dreamland, they will find a way not to be, in spite of one’s best efforts!
And what is on page 67 of “Reformation Europe” that is so important? “The middle of the first entire paragraph”: But damn if I can figure out why I wrote such a note! Page 67 discusses Huldrych Zwingli and Switzerland.
Maybe you can make sense of it! Would you mind looking and see?
I realize it‘s been 4-5 weeks and maybe I told you this already: During the first morning “chat” with Wanda Harkins at CACC (around 7:20 A.M.), in discussing dreams, I told her that, contrary to popular opinion, I did see myself dying. (continued)




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