Alice

On the Rise
2017-04-09 07:45:09 (UTC)

Not myself

Yeah I haven't written in a while. One of the main reasons is because I've been depressed. I even considered suicide but I got help. I was in a dark place a few years ago. Even though I had a boyfriend, I wasn't happy. I love him but at the time I wasn't in love with him. I'm still with him but I don't think I should be. He's always depressed too and his mind isn't always there. Perhaps that's why I stay. Because I feel like if I end things, he'll end his life. He's that bad. I'm no longer as depressed but I know in my heart I am unhappy. Not to the point where I want to die. I no longer get those thoughts. But I feel like what I'm doing in my life and where I'm at is not where I should be. It's hard to move forward when someone is holding me back. I promise I'll be better and open up to my boyfriend about this. He deserves someone who truly wants to be with him. And I deserve to be happy and not feel guilty everyday. Nobody is perfect. Especially me. Yet, I know what the right thing is. And I'll do just that.




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