theolor

MyDarknessLives
2017-03-30 23:31:54 (UTC)

Magick consequences

Feeling a little mixed right now, for the past few days I have been practicing magick, I include the k because it's not slight of hand rabbit out of the hat type magic but real magick. I have always believed in stuff like this so I decided to try it out and have been practicing. I have seen results so far, I have this inner ability that allows me to do these things and I don't have to meditate for long before doing a spell. I have always believed I have a strong soul and strong mind power, I have a strong 3rd eye that I am learning to grow. I promised myself I would only use magic for good and for the most part I have, I have managed to change my eye color from green to gray, when I look in the mirror my eyes are gray, I believe I have been practicing too much and using up too much of my energy, I have been sick today and I feel weak. I will take a break for a few days and allow myself to recover but tonight I had to cast a spell of calm and just in case an exorcism spell on the house just in case - sometimes anxiety can be a good thing because I can take precautions. But I did do something bad (and I'm going to say right now I have done my best to fix the situation and I have been praying as well to fix the mess I made). I know the idea of an "eye for an eye" thing and I have tried to not do anything relating to black magick but, there are times when my bad side comes out. A few days ago I was researching more on spells and I came across a "karma" curse and I promised myself I wouldn't do stuff like this but something inside me snapped like a dam just overflowed and came loose. Ever since the 6th grade, the one friend I relied on so much regularly abused me psychologically. I have been through so much pain because of him and now that I cut all contact I have been doing a lot better but I discovered something. Ever since the 6th grade, every piece of abuse and hate and anger that he made me feel was being absorbed inside me and it just grew and grew and grew without me being conscious of it. When I saw the curse I almost clicked off but my mind just said, no, I will repay that bastard for every evil thing he has done to me, every time he has torn my heart to shreds, it's his fault I am mentally sick, all the abuse he put me through when I relied on him so much! all the hate and anger that was boiling inside me came out and I said the spell. I don't think it was full black magick but gray magick because it wasn't a spell to hurt but the wording was something like this "for every evil action (the target's name) commits, it shall be repaid twofold or x2. People don't believe in magick and that's why it doesn't work for them, it takes a lot of energy and you really have to believe in what you are trying to do or it will not work. 9 years of anger and fear and every memory of what he had done to me came out with such force, like a hurricane, when I said that curse. I have never expelled that much energy in my life then when I laid that curse and honestly, afterward I felt this weight lift off my shoulders like the cloudy skies above finally parted and a glorious shining light came through and I saw the sun for once in a very long time. I have no contact with the people he talks to or him so I don't know if the curse worked but it wasn't a repay him for everything he did to me curse it was whatever evil he commits from this point on (when I said the curse) it will be repaid so it wasn't a full on death or hurt curse. But either way my conscious has came back and even though I am glad that all that anger and pain is out I started to feel really bad because I don't like the idea of hurting anyone so I have been trying all that I could to undo the curse and again I have no idea what is or was happening to him because I don't know and it has only been 2 days or so. I have been praying to god, praying to the archangel Michael for forgiveness and to lift the curse I laid. I had to write this somewhere so I could get this off my shoulders. I will still practice magick but I will only practice magick that will not hurt anyone. I don't know why it happened but for 9 years all this negative energy has been building up inside me from all the abuse I had to endure from someone I considered for a long time to be like a brother to me, my only friend, because after a while I had no one else and I was so afraid to be alone that I put up with the abuse for so long. 9 years... For anyone that reads this and thinks badly of me, please forgive me as I have sought forgiveness and I have done everything I could to fix what I did but please understand that I could not control myself because all that I have endured.

Now that I have that off my chest, when I first started practicing magic earlier this week, it did not take me long to get the hang of it, at least the less complicated parts. I managed to change my eye color from green to gray, it didn't work out the way I thought lol, I imagined everyone else would see gray as well but as far as I know it's only me. Over the course of the day after I casted the spall my eyes slowly changed from green to gray but only I could tell. When I look into a mirror my eyes are gray like I had envisoned them. The purpose of this outside my confession is that if you try this, at all costs aviod trying to hurt others and understand that your actions have serious consequences.




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