LostInTheRealWorld

Carlos's confused World
2017-03-12 12:19:43 (UTC)

The Final Day

Thursday night i had the most amazing night with the girl that i love.

We danced and showed off. She hugged me like she use to. Kissed me and couldn't stop kissing me. Told me she loved me so many times in one night. I want that back. At least i had one more of those nights.

Friday morning she stayed at the apartment, didn't have to leave when i left because my girl owned this place just as muched as i did. She created memories here. She made me me. Without a doubt i love her and I'm in love with her. To me those are two different things.

It wasn't until later on in the day that she told me she needed time and basically she couldn't do it.

Im tired of feeling the way i do. It's time for me to move on. It's time for me to stop feeling the way i do.

Today is the final day. After today, everything will change. It is the Final Day.

I had a whole day planned for us but its not gonna happen. Thursday night i got her sunflowers just as a tease.

The plan today was dinner at a nice place like she wanted to have and then the William Singe concert afterwards.

I also made myself a filter on snapchat for us to use at the concert. For anyone to use in that concert as long as their in the building.
Today was the day the world new that Carlos Lopez was in love with Jazmine Velasquez.

3 dozen sunflowers were ordered just for her because i know how much she loves them. She's my sunflower girl.
I picked them up yesterday and took them to her job, i didn't think she wanted to see me so i gave them to a co worker so they could hand them to her. Attached to her flowers was her ticket for the concert. . I had no reason to keep them. IF i don't go to the concert with her than id rather go alone.

At this point i feel like i lost the love of my life.

After tonight everything will change. Ive tried for two weeks to win her over.

It's starting to become apparent that she's not coming back.

Tonight i have no expectations. As much as i want her there, I'm pretty sure she's not gonna show.

After tonight, i will lose myself. Who I've become and I'm afraid that'll relapse and go back to my old ways.

Not because i want to but because i have no other way of coping with what's going on right now.

After today Everything will change.

After today, i won't fall in love.

After today, my world is over.

After today............................................

God help me. Im down on my knees asking you. Praying, help me.

Help me get rid of this heartache.





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