Ruth Louise

young, uni, mummy and stressed
2017-02-28 21:19:04 (UTC)

Cancelations

So here I am bracing myself to spill the beans on why I stopped attending uni and how things became overwhelming and how I am a secret sufferer of anxiety and I get an email from my tutor saying that they are cancelling at 7pm at night! I have a baby! I need structure and plans, changing plans makes me even more anxious than carrying out plans. Plus she knows that I have to get the train and so she must know that you buy them in advance. A little more warning would have been nice. On a happier note I have managed to get my baby in bed and she hasn't made a peep since I snuggled her up in bed. I just wish that she would start to sleep longer, I feel as though she naps as in she's asleep for a few hours and then she wakes up for half an hour before she settles back down in bed. If she could just get up a bit less as in once or twice in a night that would be great but as it stands she is a frequent 3-4 times a night kind of baby. I don't know how people can live in a house on their own and not get bored all the time. That's probably why they have the tidiest houses, less people making the mess and more time to clean/tidy. I hate tidying, cleaning I can do but when it comes to putting lot's of things away and moving peoples rubbish I have a very low tolerance for; I can organise and clean for ages with a film on in the background and cooking with the radio but tidying up after someone who couldn't be bothered to do it themselves or even worse people who think and say "it's not that bad" I can not do without playing out a scenario in my head where I am repeatedly giving them a piece of my mind in a variety of ways.
Maybe that makes me strange but that's me, I wonder if my baby will be more like me or more like her dad. There are things that I would prefer her to have that are mine and there are I must admit things that I would rather she get from her dad one example is his metabolism because mine sucks in comparison to his, he eat crap all day everyday and looks fit. So unfair.
I hope that I get to sleep quicker than I did last night, with a baby that could wake at any time it is vital that I fall asleep fast so that I can get as much sleep as possible, I don't know what it is but I am constantly tired, I just don't have the energy for anything and I just need something to boost my energy so that I can do more for my baby and take her more places.




Ad: