All that is
The sickest things
It's just hit me, I'm such a fucking genius when i'm drunk. I mean high. I've just realised that, it's just hit me that, I cannot get close to someone who hasn't confided with me. Those that I have 'accepted] into my circle can all come under the umbrella of having shared something of grave personal importance. This seems obvious, no? Well Itls also just hit me that it's not necessarily so that I can feel like I'ts a mutual two way thing. no, it's like I like to know that the door is always open for me to go andconide in them, but i don't necesarily have to have done so yet. But more so, they must confide in me more than i do in them, in some ways. yes. this is to make me feel, perhaps more in the better barganin position, should the need ever arise. to make me feel as though i am needed more than i need. to make me feel like I'm the healer, the ear. All my close friends - and let's be honest there are rarely inbetweens - it's either theyre close or their not my friends at all - have at some point shared with me something about themselves that i know to them is private. if they havent done so i can't trust them. it occurred to me that the instance when I felt more comfortable with laura is after she opened up to me. beforehand I felt slightly distant.