Experienced Life
2017-02-20 18:56:07 (UTC)

Nice quiet days are so nice

Finally! Don't know what is going on and it may be way too early to say this is going to be a constant but it has been pretty much drama free for awhile now. Sure little issues here and there but nothing compared to what I had to deal with in the past. Nowadays, I'm just worried about having to book at a nearby hotel for my dart tourney instead of where it's being held. If that is a problem, I love it.

My other issue is deciding what hobbies I can keep due to how much play money I have. The gun range isn't cheap. Playing two nights of dart league adds another 50 a week in expenses. Hiring a housekeeper is 60 to 100 a month. Joining a boxing gym is another 100 a month. Getting a new vehicle? Another expense I'm not sure I want to commit yet.

Still... that's my problem? That it?! Seems like heaven compared to the crap I had to deal with all those brutal crazy mentally abusing years! Now I can just deal with normal problems? Yes!!! I still don't give a crap about my drapes looking funny to the neighbors or my lawn not as green as theirs. I guess that part of me is long gone.

I hope this nice simple life stays like this. No drama. Not much stress. My nightmares has disappeared and I'm sleeping much better now. I'm ok with an occasional relapse so I'm good for now. Oh yeah, we're getting a 2500 dollar bonus at work soon!!! Our contracts have been negotiated. I get a raise in July. Not sure how much. I think it may be 4.5 percent. Not really sure. I'm not the type to believe until it's in writing. In my case, I want to see it written on my paycheck. lol. That'll also mean I'll be getting around 104K a year. Just gotta know where to spend it.

So throughout my dark days, when shit was just rolling on in like a landslide and not stopping, the one and small little thing I had was at least having a great job that pays good. No, I won't be rich ever but I live my life without fear of going hungry. I got a belly to prove it too unfortunately :)

So tonight, it's not Thanksgiving but I do give some thanks for what I have. I still haven't forgotten my guardian angel that I feel is watching over me. Letting me make stupid decisions but being there for me when the going gets tough. There were many tough moments too. So tonight, I'm feeling grateful and enjoying my night. Drinking a Lagunitas beer with a 9.7 alcohol content. Watching my big screen TV. Playing on my dart machine. Deciding right now only on what I should have for dinner with a fridge full of food. I have hundreds of friends to hang with. No kidding. From darts, kayaking, camping, parties, etc, etc. I can't complain too much.

I somehow just forgot about what I had and was just wallowing around in the negative things. I may have lost a lot but I still do have a lot going on. I was just too stupid and lame to see things clearer. Maybe someone bee-atch slapped me while I was asleep? Dunno but I do know now.