TM49

My History Of Familial Incest
2017-02-16 17:46:43 (UTC)

What Must Come Down...

I think I am out of hyper sexual mode now. I am still watching porn and masturbating but it's at a normal level now. (Or normal for me anyway.) As usual the coming down from that state of mind is fueling a hopeless feeling. I feel a lack of interest in everything and my usual activities, unmotivated to work or do much of anything. My workouts are a strain and in general I just feel lackluster. Sometimes I start to wonder if I am bi-polar when this happens. I don't even feel like talking to friends online. I know completely shutting myself in inwardly will not help so making myself write this. As always this state of mind will pass until I can come back to center once more. I know it may seem redundant for me to go on and on about that but it's really important.
I have at least been writing other things today as well. I need to really motivate myself to do something with my writing and try to get it seen.
I wish I were back in hyper mode, my mind feels great there. I keep watching porn and stimulating myself in hopes I can trigger myself back into it. Yea, I say that all the while knowing I need to center. This sucks.:(
-TM




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