✯Sincerely, Me✯
☯LivingWithMyself☯
Do Your Job - Day 31
Dear Reader,
Something I wanted to talk about today, was something I see often on Facebook.
I see this picture.
https://www.google.com/search?safe=off&q=lexi williams north carolina&tbm=isch&tbs=simg:CAQSmQEJOVVbh3OtwgcajQELEKjU2AQaBggKCD0IQwwLELCMpwgaYgpgCAMSKKAThgiCCModnxO1CMcdgwjJHagTrjDzJe8xii3gJa4luy-MLYktrTAaMJM6nVvOuP0vk9w33E1wQrepgl17QEp7FWfPKlbkfuKCFUMIUtgOeResustNzNy8iiAEDAsQjq7-CBoKCggIARIEmNpmZAw&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwi667eU-O3RAhVGwlQKHXZ0Aw0Qwg4IGSgA&biw=1093&bih=530#imgrc=JBI7TTzJNvYUYM:
And the girl in this photo is Lexi Williams.
And, she committed suicide at 16 by jumping off of a bridge.
The photo is a screenshot of a tweet she had posted a few weeks before she killed herself.
The screenshot is a photo of her looking depressed, tired, and empty. The caption of the tweet reads: "when you try to talk to your mom about your stress and mental health issues & she tells you to get over it :)"
The screenshot also explains that she took her own life, and says: "Parents, listen to your kids."
I identify so much with this , because I fully understand what it's like to grow up in isolation with no one there for you, no one who will listen, or understand.
The reason I wanted to talk about it today, is because each time I see this post, it never fails. I always see comments such as:
"Well she SHOULD just get over it."
"Entitled kids these days."
"It's all in her head."
"She's faking it for attention."
"She doesn't know REAL problems/struggles."
"Sheltered kids."
"Mental illnesses aren't real."
"Suck it up."
"Get over it."
"Grow up."
"My parents did this, and I turned out fine."
These are typically from older people, but I have seen these from people in my generations..
And it honestly hurts to read people literally defending parents who STOMP on their kids feelings, and don't give two shits about their kids mental health.. and leave the kid out to dry..
but then every time I see this post, and every time I see those comments
I always see people replying to them and saying how shitty they are, and how hard it is to struggle with a parent who is like that, AND EVERY TIME, The op is always the first to say "YEAH WELL, DON'T EVEN SAY I DON'T KNOW STRUGGLES. I'VE BEEN SUICIDAL. I'VE BEEN DEPRESSED. BUT I'VE GOT THE FUCK OVER IT, AND NOBODY WAS THERE TO HELP ME."
And it's like... that doesn't change the fact that someone, especially your parents SHOULD have been there for you
And the worst part is? This girl is already gone.
She could have been saved, and she wasn't. These people's comments, are exactly what drove her to take her life... it's way too late for her.. and yet they STILL are saying shit like this.
These people are just as bad as parents who do this to their children.
These people may even HAVE children they already do this too..
It may have been custom to ignore your children's mental health entirely unless they were extreme cases... but those ways are outdated, and those practices are very harmful.
A parent is supposed to be there for their child in every way possible.
It's a parent's job to take care of their child both mentally and physically.
If you love your child, and you want them to have full, happy lives... and you want them to succeed, and take on the world..
You have got to be their advocate. You have got to be there for them. You have got to listen when they need to vent. You have to try to understand at least when they discuss their problems. When you dismiss or belittle your child's problems, you are failing them.
You are the one person in this world who they are supposed to depend on, and you are showing them that you are not dependable.
You are supposed to care about how they feel.. You are supposed to want to understand, and to get them help. You are supposed to WANT to be their outlet, and help them when they are lost, and afraid, and alone. You should care about your child's mental health.
You are planting seeds of resentment within them for the rest of your life. You are breaking boards, and cutting ropes from the bridge between you. You are making wounds so deep, that they will definitely scar for a lifetime.
You teach them how to bottle their feelings. How to hide and run away from their problems. You teach them to belittle themselves, and you teach them that asking for help isn't okay.
It takes a very selfish person to belittle your child's pain.
And the fucked up thing is? You even think you're doing them good. You're accomplishing the opposite of what you think you're doing by dismissing them when they reach out to you.
You're only making it worse.
I don't understand parents who don't care. I don't understand people who are so quick to tell other people to just get over it, or to suck it up.
Listening to your children, understanding, and helping them in every way you can... focusing on the importance of mental health, and always being present.. teaches your children to ask for help when they need it. Teaches your children to help others when they are in need. Teaches your children empathy, compassion, and trust, and selflessness. They learn how to form bonds, and relationships with other people.
When you provide them the environment, and the support that they need, you are allowing them to learn how to deal with their mental illness, and how to overcome it.
It is ALWAYS okay to ask for help.
People kill themselves every single day.. children, and teenagers take their lives every day because they feel as though they have no one there for them... and the sad thing, they aren't wrong.
I have lived in a household with my grandparents since I was 5 years old.. and I learned very quickly that I couldn't talk to them about my problems. I learned that I couldn't be myself, and that I had to hide everything inside because of them.
I struggle with so much internally because of it.
No child should ever be treated like this by their parents.
No one should ever be okay with parents treating their children like this.
It's not sheltering, it's not babying, it's not entitlement, it's not spoiling.
It's doing your fucking job, and being the parent you're supposed to be.
Sincerely,
ListenToYourKids
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