Sarah

One day at a time
2017-01-26 12:31:48 (UTC)

Coming up short

Am I the only parent that feels like they half-ass every area of their life just to get by? I feel like I'm being pulled in 50 million directions and I'm still barely getting it. I got home tonight after 6, was home for 10 minutes and then had to be back in town by 6:45 for an appointment. We weren't seen until 7:15, drop off the script, it's ready by 8:30 and I'm home by 9:30, to eat our dinner, I picked up the house, fed the dog, unloaded my car, tucked in my boys and managed to finally sit down around 10:30 and am just now in bed, but not really. I'm laying on top of my covers, shoes off, jacket still on and ready to call it a day, but I really don't even have the motivation to get up, let alone do the whole nightly routine; I may just call it a day at this, lol. I know- here I am..

I feel lonely at night, when the kids are in bed and I'm left with my thoughts. Sometimes, I'm hard on myself and tonight was one of those nights. It occurred to me that I'm just 'getting by' in my daily life. Ok, this is super pathetic, but it is what it is. As a Mom, there areas I could definitely improve in, my days are so busy; I wish I had more time to talk to them. As an employee, I'm busting my ass and still not getting everything done in a day and sometimes make mistakes. At home, I'm behind on my bedroom remodel, I need to put my clothes away and finish organizing my house. My friendships are are hard to maintain and feel demanding.. I'm struggling a bit and I hate to admit it, but I'm aware enough to know I need to improve in all areas of my life. And no, this isn't some bullshit resolution, it's more of a reality check to myself..

I need a nanny, lol that's the reality. How cool would it be to have dinner cooking when you walk in the door? Or have someone doing the stupid laundry that you hate? Or picking up/dropping off kids? Holy shit, I just had an epiphany!! Is this what it feels like to be a guy?! (Lol, total squirrel moment!!) I love you!!♡

Back to the pep talk.. I need to do better; I just need to figure out how to juggle, I guess. And on that note, I'm going to sleep now, I'm exhausted.




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