✯Sincerely, Me✯
☯LivingWithMyself☯
Wedding Bells - Day 19
Dear Reader,
I've read a lot of bridezilla stories where the bride completely disrespects all the members of the wedding,
And asks them to dye their hair, buy very expensive clothes without checking if they can afford it, cover their tattoos... Doesn't consider them, or their feelings at all.
I got to thinking... because.. I don't feel comfortable in dresses whatsoever. All the weddings I went to besides the last two, I had to wear one. The last one I finally got to wear a button up/dress pants. The one before that, I did have to wear a feminine top.
The one where I had to wear the feminine top, was my cousin Amanda's wedding. I remember my aunt, and grandma saying that she should have asked me to be in the wedding. I was actually glad that she didn't, because I didn't want to wear a dress, and they would have made me.
The one where I got to wear the button up... my brother wore one too, and a tie.
One thing that pissed me off, was that we were dressed the same way minus the colors, and his tie.. and they all told him that he looked really good, while I was standing right next to him. I remember they'd tell him that, look at me, and wouldn't say anything to me.
Like, yeah, I know. I get it. You don't like it, that's fine. You don't have too.. but it just kinda struck me as a little rude...
I read those stories where brides ask the members of the wedding to change their appearances, and it honestly bothers me to think about.
If a friend or family member were to ask me to wear a dress for their wedding, knowing that I am not comfortable with it whatsoever, I would be deeply offended.
I have seen people argue that: "Well, it IS their wedding. They should pick out what their wedding party wears."
And yes, it IS their wedding. And yes, if they prefer a specific color, a specific style.. a specific hairstyle.. yeah, I can see that.
But when you ask me to wear a dress, or to look feminine, when you know that isn't who I am, You're asking me not to be myself. You're telling me that you don't really want ME in the wedding.
Because in that sense, you're not asking ME to be in the wedding. You're asking something that ISN'T me to be in it. That would speak clear to me about how that person feels about how I look, and how they'd RATHER me to look, regardless of how I feel.
They want a picture of me dressed fake, to sit on their mantle piece, to look at for the rest of their marriage.
They'd rather have someone fake in that photo, standing with them at the alter, in the memory of that day forever, and not my genuine self, and that is fucked up, and insulting.
That basically says that you don't really care about me at all.
As of right now.. I can't think of a single person I'd invite to my wedding... I honestly don't know if I'd even invite family to it.
My wedding is definitely not going to be traditional, but that's okay.
I'm wearing a tux... I've already decided that I'm going to have custom converse made to wear on the day of the wedding, and wear the same pair on anniversaries.
If at that time in my life I have people I want to be in the wedding, I'll let them dress however the fuck they want to dress. If I'm lucky enough to have people that close to me, the last thing I want is for them to feel as though they can't be themselves on one of the biggest days of a person's life...
If they have crazy colored hair, outfits, visible tattoos.. I don't give a damn. I want memories, and photos of people that I love as who they are. Those are aspects of themselves that would be selfish of anyone to ask them to hide, or change for any reason.
If you actually give a shit about the people you're asking to be in your wedding, you'd never ask them to change or hide who they are "for your big day."
"It's MY big day" isn't a valid excuse to be an asshole to the people you are supposed to care about.
Sincerely,
I Object
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