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Saturday to Sunday
So I am finally getting offline earlier and earlier. Tonight it was more spurned by the fact that once more I got bored online. That actually happens. I get bored of the internet and turn to other things. Something I never understood about R. He can spend hours upon hours online from playing games to endlessly watching things on Netflix. I, for the life of me, never could understand that. I thought before bed tonight I would finish the son in law's scarf and start working on the daughter's. I also am going to make myself a small mat for next to my bed. I'm tired of stuff on the floor getting dragged into the bed with me. I actually shut the small section of window tonight. I know it's cold since all the cats are now inside and found their places to be.
Another day of no R technically online. Though I did note that for all of Ji's big deal about keeping a character up as a monument, she took it down to have a new one. Somehow I wasn't surprised by that. I honestly left Skype open for longer today. Not that it got used and I wasn't surprised by that either. I was surprised by the kids' room mate. He bought Domino's tonight and even included me. It was nice. Had a new sandwich and it was pretty good. Right now just winding down for the day. I did announce in the chat room that since everyone else was busy with other rooms I wouldn't be too active in mine. Instead I watched the kids play WoW though I did play some because there was a fishing challenge and for some strange reason I love fishing in that game. That and played my little Facebook game that I tend to play.
Why am I surprised about R not being online? After his big spree of how great his life is going only to disappear again, that says that either what I said has come to pass and he's being forced to see the truth or he's beginning to do his big withdraw from the online world. He hasn't yet closed Skype, but that most likely will be coming if he's doing his withdraw. Basically all the friends that he claimed that he had that I supposedly denied him are once more closing him off. Or he's closing off to them. My guess is he's closing up. He does that once he thinks that everyone has deserted him and in a way they have. While Ji will like stuff on his Facebook, she's moving on from him. Strangely I think either someone has passed this on to him, which wouldn't surprise me in the least or he's really seeing all these things that I said that were true and he tried to say was lies.
Sunday is supposed to be just as cold as today, so that might keep me off the computer a little longer. It's just warmer in the bed. I do miss having R to curl up to. When I go to bed is when I miss him the most. Then again I just convince myself that he's in the backroom and won't be in until sunup. That helps for me to at least get some sleep on the cold nights. There is one other thing I can think of. Red got a hold of him and gave him the low down on her conversation with me. Basically her telling me that no matter what I'm going to be wrong. Her prerogative not mine. I still shake my head that she's surprised that I think she feels I'm an enemy. Technically that's not true. The truth? I'm a convenience for her. I always have been. When she needs something no matter what it is, I was there. Now seeing her not be there for me, I realize that she was never a friend. I don't think I was an enemy, but to me I was nothing more than a bank for her when she needed it. I listened to all her problems and I never judged and never said anything. I offered to help when I could. That was my own fault. Though sometimes I wonder what people would do if I started treating them like they treat me. In some ways I have been. I don't think they like it very much. Ce la vie.
I'm going to close this out for the night and get one more cup of coffee. Then I'm going to work on things until my eyes get heavy. From there I'll see what tomorrow brings.
Playwright Eugene Ionesco said, “Ideology separates us. Dreams and anguish bring us together.”