always wth love
Second Day: If I decide to get help?
If I decide to go to a therapist that would be my new life, that means ill be impatient to the shrink. Then I would've to tell the truth, I would've to relive my childhood all over again up to present. So? What does that mean? These labels are now more at risk of me, EEK! Am 22 years old and in college so what that say to the shrink? What does that mean in next 5 years?(Or whenever that will be) By that time am completely stable in my own place or live with my boyfriend? Am just thinking out aloud! Will able to be a better after speaking bout my pasted! I don't want be unfixable that I cant live on my own strength, that will destroy everybody. I want a future to be better am all right to, too think so far too the edge is it safe. I have to work this all out before something tragic happens to me? So? No. Am not a threat to myself or others, but am scared who I'll see me first when I step my feet back on the campus or when I see my man for that matter. I might forget all this when I see him after his recovery of a bad cold. I usually do anyway I completely Blackout! What took place in my head, it just vanishes without a warning....I want be a his girl forever but-am I gonna screw this up, cant find a psychologically health of my depression. So? So should ask for professional help? Ill give it two months, and I have another breakdown then. I need to speak someone again for this issue. Supremely am calm as FUCK! right now.