always wth love
January 5 2017
Frist day : Deeply depressed last for 24hours
Yesterday what happened was? I was deeply utterly unfixable depressed it started when I couldn't stop thinking of James I was very messes girlfriend. I kept distancing myself each time I spoken to him. I never thought I could do so much damage control but I have. I texted him with no empathy in me or was it no emotion. am guessing it would've been both.In the mist of the hours alone in the house, I was thinking of you. As we kept in the darkness on Wednesday the way you grab me the way we making out. That I could never let go of I was happy in those moments. I have no regrets at all. I still remember each touch of you near me, however the deep conversations brought something else I still don't fully accepted the harsh truth am into beginning ..... AHHHHH, am totally spacing out again sorry I was gonna say something smartass but I cant remember!
I woke up with nothing to take hold of in those moments, It took a lot focus on what I was trying to understand what was going on my head !!!
I wasn't sure what had happen to me....My mom bf asked how did I slept last night? Am exhausted (as FUCK! --- all in my head), I felt nothing by what I already know what occurs each year that its comes to be a norm appearance in the storm.
I need to talk someone else that isn't my boyfriend--- so its time to tell my mom I need professional help, now I need to go therapy again
I don't think can handle this in 2017, not this time. not ever!