šŸƒAmanda22Janeā¤

Ghost Writer
2016-12-15 14:21:31 (UTC)

I'm Awake.

Oh my goodness, I have been awake since after midnight. Took my meds early (18:38) last night and slept for 5 & a 1/2 hours and now I'm awake dammit. Doesn't pay to go to bed early even though I was pretty tired and sore.
I took the whole tablet of Sero this time - 25 mgs - and look at this, I'm awake five and a half hours later.
There's a line that frustrated medical doctors used in this country, when I was growing up. Usually they said it as a last resort to difficult and stubborn patients : "What are we going to do with you!?" Well. I apply that line to myself about my sleeping and body pain. (Deep long sigh.)
This is going to improve. This I'm determined to conquer.

Two sayings circulating in mental health recovery circles spring to mind and I love them both :

"From Victim to Victor."

"From Zero to Hero."

(Not sure about the latter, but the first is attributed to Ron Coleman...actually the second one may be too.)

Well I think these sayings apply here. Quite often the reverse is true too. I can go from hero status to zero status in no time flat with some things, situations and people.

I'm feeling better after my sleep though. Life takes the stuffing out of me easily some days, then other days I find myself diving headfirst back into the fray.
A little love and determination goes a long way when I remember to apply them.
(Which is not that often.)

I'm six weeks, two days clean-&-serene today. High five to me.

Hot chocolate, another 12.5mgs of Sero and a book now. I need to go back to sleep before three a.m. It's 01:47 a.m.




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