✯Sincerely, Me✯

☯LivingWithMyself☯
2016-12-15 04:02:57 (UTC)

Stay With Me - Part 7

Dumped - Part 7


I sent messages.
Nothing.
I cried, I begged him to respond.
Nothing.


When he finally got online,
I tried to talk normally to him,
But he responded with single word responses.

I finally broke and asked if there was something wrong with.. “Us.”
He wouldn’t respond.


He stopped responding again.


He ignored me for ten days.
Yes, I counted.

And if you know me,
You know that’s the one thing you never do.


And so I was like, you know what? Fine.


I unfriended him off of facebook,
And later on that night,
I received a message from him.


He asked me if I hated him.


And you know, That’s one detail I’ve never been able to forget.


I was so happy to hear from him again,
That I friended him back and was so ready to forgive him.
I told him that I couldn’t ever hate him.


I thought we were going to talk, and work things out.


But, I was wrong about that too.

He sent me a message saying that me not wanting to have kids,
Was a deal breaker.


He said that my reasons for not wanting kids were narcissistic.

I was.. stunned to say the least.

I felt so incredibly betrayed.


I started to tell him how I felt so stupid for letting him get close to me.

He got passed all of my defenses, and he was able to get me to trust him.
Something only J had done.


And, he said sorry.
But, it didn’t feel genuine.


“I’m sorry, okay.”

It didn’t make it okay.
It didn’t make it hurt any less.


He got offline, and stopped replying to me.

We talked one other time after that on facebook.
It was awkward small talk.
And.. I told him that I missed him,
And he started ignoring me again.

We didn’t talk again for the rest of the summer.

He said he loved me.
He said he’d save me.


I thought that when you loved someone,
You compromise, and make sacrifices.

But, I suppose he just didn’t care enough.


Back then, I couldn’t see that it was actually a valid reason to break up with someone.
I was too hurt to see it.

But the way he did it, was unacceptable.
And is the reason I’ve never been able to let it go.

-----

Sincerely,
Me




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