ndx0

Your Journey
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2016-12-10 16:22:06 (UTC)

Acceptance

I have ehlers danlos..(well, I'm secretly still hoping there is another reason that will explain the way I'm feeling because I can't imagine having this illness my whole life) But for the sake of confusion I'll say I have ehlers danlos. So, what is it? Its an nuisance. I mean the medical definition goes something like "a genetic disorder that affects connective tissue in he body..." so in other words a complete nuisance which causes random dislocations, terrible joint pain, and realizing your limbs are as sturdy as over cooked spaghetti noodles. I just found out I have ehlers danlos a few months ago but it started getting really bad these past few weeks. I'm still trying to figure out how to handle this without loosing my sanity, so I have resulting into typing out my feelings on this blank electronic page of paper and hoping for the best.

The hardest part about this genetic disorder is acceptance. I mean, accepting anything can be tough, and I have accepting things in my life that at the time I thought were tough, until I got told I have ehlers danlos. I'm trying to accept all aspects of it. Physically it sucks. I know that's not the most impressive adjective to use to describe this, but I think it's most appropriate to summarize how I think about this. It just sucks. The pain is just so unexpected and never ending! (no I mean literally never ending as there is not cure for this disease). That's probably the hardest thing I'm trying to accept. When you're sick or temporality injured, what is the ting that most people say to you? "You'll feel better soon" "by next month you'll be fine" .. and unfortunately when ehlers danlos decides to force me to take a break from walking (it likes to attack my ankles) I can't tell myself that because it will never be better. I find everyday I have to accept new things. Today I had to accept I couldn't pain my nails because my hand was hurting. I also had to accept that I couldn't take down a heavy dish because my shoulder gives out. I'm not sure if I have even started to accept this genetic disorder, but on the bright side I have accepted the fact that I haven't accepted this disorder so that must count for something right?


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