atomheartmother03

A Saucerful of Secrets (Warning - Sexual Content!)
2016-12-07 17:00:11 (UTC)

There will be an answer. Let it be..

I am so conflicted right now..

I know I need to leave my husband. I WANT to leave my husband.. But why do I feel so bad about it? I feel like I'm living a lie.. I'm going on like life is normal and my husband doesn't have a clue what I am planning on doing after Christmas. I HAVE to wait until after Christmas, though. I want the kids to have a good Christmas. It will be their last Christmas with us all together as a family, so I want them to have good memories about it..

Sometimes I wish I could just disappear.. or better yet, jump in time to after it happens..

What if I can't do it?

I have to, but what if I can't? What if he doesn't go along with it? What if he says he'll change, even though deep down I know he really won't.. What if he refuses to accept it? What if I try to tell him and no words come out? What words do I even say?

God, I've never been so scared in my life..




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