The sarcastic anti-socialist
2016-12-06 17:47:37 (UTC)

The friend

Dear diary,
Sometimes in life you just feel lost. Lost I dont mean in sense of place but the way some people behave or act around you. You think you would know them, but u dont. I really feel sometimes betrayed by my own feelings.

Suddenly, I feel pretty uncomfortable telling my mom everything. Like how this particulas friend of mine I think is jzt using me and favouring me for another friend. Somedays this same freaking lady makes me feel so special and some other days I feel like am I wasting time in my life jst being her friend.

I know how u think tht if I had even an ounce of self respect I would leave her, but u dont understand. I have never had a friend this close to me, who understood me soo well. Not even in school. I know if I tell my mom this she will tell me to leave her.

What I am scared is of the fact tht if my mom tells me, I will leave her. But then I will miss her too much. It will be painful to break a friendship so precious. Its scars will take a long time to heal.

You know diary, maybe since I have never had a deep and a meaninful friendship,( except with Vanshika - which is a different case altogether, since we now meet each other only once a year) I dont know how to compare this one. Do all true friendships feel like this?

Maybe she knows tht. Thats y she takes advantage when she knows I cant say no. But I wish she would ever try to see things from my perspective.

Yours forever

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