Memories of Love
I recall during my younger days about infatuations, crushes, and love. Oh to be young again. Feelings that was still new to you and the world was at your fingertips.
I remember times when I started to like a girl. The feeling you'd get when she'd just be near. The incredible feeling you'd get when you find out she likes you too. It's as if you had all you ever wanted in life. It seemed complete and the feeling of how you just so loved the world. You and that girl would just have a great time being together and living life to it's fullest.
I remember not being able to think straight when I'd fall for someone. The stupid things I'd do or say because I'd be on cloud 9 and it'd be ok because the person you fell for loved you just as stupidly :) Oh man, those were the days. How old was I then? Maybe 16-17? lol
Fast forward decades later. That feeling as a teen is gone. Shit like that don't happen anymore. You experience unfaithfulness, deceit, lies, and all that other crap you never even thought to do as a teen.
So what's left is a damaged soul. More educated, more mature, financially stable, etc, etc, etc. Sure, that part comes naturally as you grow older. I'm there. I just didn't realize it'd cost me my soul to be where I am now.
The innocence is gone. The world's reality set in. I understand my role in life now.
Happiness that I found as a teen will never be there for me anymore. I had my time. Now it's just a challenge to make it through the day. I assume it will and tomorrow, I'll be doing the same.
Thank you diary for letting me vent once again. It's good to vent sometimes. This online diary has helped me get by some tough times. Tonight is one of them.
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