always wth love

Ad 2:
2016-11-20 10:18:27 (UTC)

I have fallen into the deep end at 1:00am,..

I have fallen into the deep end at 1:00am, you can say I felt irritable it was true. I told him that I almost cried when I saw him, but it was another lied to hid it again. I did cry when I saw him, I asked him if still wants me. he said "yes" what am so scared because am constantly slipping. He said would help me. I felt great that I could get that from him. I was very different last night I felt so off. I told him am depressed doing the holidays he had asked why thou? Am freakin' out because am deep in love wth you. Times like these I need him by my side holding me so I wont be afraid. He knows that. I had talk flirtation wth him and asked what would I do of I was there in at his house? he had hard time thinking what to say to me... He was scared I so say something wrong? We talk bout the possible kiss I know we gotta be careful, his parents don't have a clue we together. I reread our conversation when I cant face my emotions then am completely sad again. So I have no idea what am gonna do when I see him. Am I gonna crumble and cry wthout a care. I often think that when am not comfortable in my body. He was surprised that I had done that when it felt so broken. I see him next weekend I cant wait to hug James so close to mine and not talk bout normal crap, we are in for the time being. when I finally woke up I felt sick and just didn't feel upto talking but I did anyway I felt hungover even thou I wasn't drunk had stayed up in the pasted 24 hours with thought of James after on Netflix of "One Tree Hill" season 4.