2016-11-15 19:42:32 (UTC)

the one where a year is a long time...

so today i woke up at half 8... without an alarm... which i though was pretty good seen as i didn't really have anything planned for the day or so i thought... so i laid made a nice breakfast as i had time for once in my life. However then i received a text from my group asking where we were meeting... you know i just ignored it... it popped up and i didn't even read it. then i forgot i had work and was only reminded from an email from work... ugh had to jump straight to it. i just sat there and thought actually what am i actually doing with my life... then i thought of my sister well one of my 3 sisters, Annmarie... shes one year older than me. and yet it seems we're decades apart. she been married a year got a child one the way a house and dog... i'm just here like sorry i did do my homework... i must have forgotten it. don't you ever have those days... where you just look at your self i the mirror and think why am i 4 sizes bigger than i want and 4 steps back in my life to where society keeps telling me i should be. i dunno maybe its just one of those day or weeks or months or years or lives... but wtf are you gonna do about it. walk through life talking shit hoping people never call you out on it. and even then i think i'm a little past caring ill just pass it off a the awkward person i am... but that's okay because that's life and no one wants to sit here and listen to my problems even though i sit here and listen to the same shit everyday from the same people and get shut down and cut off everything you try give them a solution to a problem because if they didn't have that shit to complain about they would have create some drama from something else to talk about but that's okay because that's what life is like when your young. and if i wasn't okay with it what would i do.. cut off all my friends yeah okay...

yup that really was thought process for the day... tragic.