šŸƒAmanda22Janeā¤

Ghost Writer
2016-11-14 10:03:11 (UTC)

Come Wednesday 2100...

...I will be fourteen days clean and sober. The longest in four months ← (the longest I could stay clean in that period of time was six days at a stretch.) High five to me and well done. I now know the primary reason why I went back to using again : I had simply had enough of, and wasn't coping very well with my family problems. It was also a very tough time entering community support with mental health again after almost a year in 2015 with community mental health in that 'supercity'. I'm glad I'm doing different recovery groups though I do need to keep myself safe around certain others because not everyone is safe in recovery. That's a reality.
It's part of the human condition that certain types of people have an invested interest in keeping other people sick because they simply can't accept healthy change. People who don't want to change for the better and for whatever rhyme or reason, on seeing healthy and positive changes in others WILL resist change. It's part of the human condition.
Yes there are power-tripping assholes in recovery circles. Not everyone is well. It's a dangerous road still and I need to keep my eyes open without becoming paranoid or hypervigilant. Look for the love and fellowship is all I can tell myself right now as well as exercise wisdom and caution with what I share with certain others.
There is abusive practice in recovery circles. Believe me I've had thirty years of experience in recovery circles, as well as out of them, but that's a different field altogether...yet not quite...research has it's inestimable and estimable value of course.

Someone in mental health has gone to CYF and said that I was drunk when I shared with them an incident concerning my family problems. I haven't felt like a drink since learning about this earlier this evening. It came out of left field like a smack in the guts. I'm still feeling winded. At least I haven't picked up a drink.
Whoever it was that went to CYF is lying. I was not drunk when I shared this.
I deal with three different agencies that come under the umbrella of mental health and one that is "off the record".
A lot of recovery sharing and work has taken place in the last several months in order to slow down my drinking. I can't remember EVERYTHING that I've shared with which person, especially this incident. It could be one or two or all of them.
Tomorrow I intend to find out who has been involved starting with the social worker. The person who divulged this news to me is not a completely reliable source either.
How dare they. Sick power-tripping fucks. As if my life hasn't seen enough recent trauma as of 'late', certain others believe they have the right to tighten the screws, and make it even harder. I can't sit back and do nothing. Doing nothing gives whoever it was the message that I am a pushover and passive.
Whoever it was in mental health that went to CYF were definitely out to slam me. There was no discussion about anything. Obviously this person (or persons) think that I'm simply a liability.
I was wrongly billed for an ambulance service recently. It's never ceases to AMAZE me how manipulative people in positions of power can be! I might be an addict but I have not once ecperienced black out this relapse which means that I remember everything.
The two occasions that I needed hospital I was transported there by police escort. Apparently St. John ambulance debt collection agency are adamant that I was seen by the emergency services crew on one of those occasions and I was transported to hospital by them. The debt collection agency apparently had the police report and hospital report that supported their claim. Since when do the cops and hospital pass out reports to a debt collection team for a service I didn't use on a date that I wasn't even in hospital?!! Fts. Yes - I drank over this weeks ago. Hasn't got me anywhere.
Drinking because of life problems is not empowering.
While I'm on this line of injustice...
Since when do police give out tresspass orders to a member of the community for crimeless prevention against another person - me?
Another police officer recently asked me "Why did you come back down here?"
Honestly.
I'm beginning to feel like I am a fucking national security threat.
'NO GOOD DEED GOES UNCHALLENGED OR UNPUNISHED.'
Karma is all I can end this entry with. There are better ways of going about this kind of thing, however, this interfering cunt (or cunts) thought they'd take the matter into their own hands instead of discussing it with me. We could have approached CYF together.
Karma is a great thing for god-players.
(Note I wrote 'god' and not 'God'. Who am I to insult Diety?)
God bless you and gnite. It's 2200. Time for relaxation before rest.





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