sft

A Subs Space... OVER 18!
2016-11-07 18:49:32 (UTC)

Monday

Still not 100% myself. i did my second double edge in bed last night. It was quite difficult, because i didn't feel in the mood for it. i'm glad Master hasn't told me to do any more today.

i haven't spoken to nixie much over the weekend. i've been quite withdrawn. i feel bad, but i don't feel chatty just yet, and i don't feel like i'm in control of myself, let alone have the responsibility of being in control of anyone else.she'd probably be better off getting someone who can be a proper Domme to her. i have a bad day, and i go to pieces :(

i haven't heard much from Master today. It's 3.5 years today we've been together.
We are supposed to be seeing each other on Wednesday, all being well. i long to be with Him again.

i am going to make myself go running tomorrow morning if it isn't raining. If it is raining, i'm going to make myself go walking instead.
Running in the rain is bad, but walking in it is ok. It clears the mind a bit, i think.
And i need to start exercising again. i need to loose some weight!
i'm sure it's reflecting in my moods, having gained so much over the last couple of months :(
i really need some motivation! Master asked me if the carrot or the stick would work best for my motivation. i said the carrot, but He then said i get enough carrot :'( i can't win! :(

Looks like fucking stick again then :'(




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