šŸƒAmanda22Janeā¤

Ghost Writer
2016-10-29 06:19:46 (UTC)

Don't Know What Is Going On.

I don't seem to be making much headway with continuing arrangements with this weekend supervision. There's been a recent change - well a couple actually - and I'm left second guessing as to whether there's been another one? I don't possess the strength to ask direct questions this weekend, plus my daughter is tired and a little flat- sailing in mood. I don't want a repeat of another shouting match with her over the children. Our fights have usually been over the children. She sees every challenge as me severely undermining her ability to be a good parent and this couldn't be further from the truth.
I simply can't stand by and watch my grandson throw a tantrum then start to destroy things. It would be a backward slide for the grandson to be allowed to destroy things when he gets angry. The daughter did deal with it but not before he'd ripped off the side of his bed and pulled up the base slats. That's a lot of anger for a six-year-old.
(This happened last time I was here.)

I am not permitted to stand up for consistency when it comes to the kind of anger that my grandson carries inside of him.
This is all I'm going to write about my grandchildren because I don't feel safe doing it here.

It has been a weekend so far of mixed and many things ; mostly wonderful things though. I'm giving them their time together though it's not easy for me. I've seen even less of them this time round.

I'm walking to church tomorrow. It's not far. It's more than two kilometres where I live and that's one way. I think church will help me. I've been quite tearful this weekend.

Can only write short entries because I'm tired and Touch Wizard on this phone model has really been playing up lately.

Didn't get a nap in after lunch because they all came back early. Just about to doze off and they were back again.

I know that the daughter needs me now at this stage in life and I am available the best I can be.

It's almost a fascination to me now how someone can function so much on so little sleep for so long. I have aged phenomenally in the last two years, even though I first got insomnia over twenty years ago. The ordeals of recent times have visibly aged me and I now have white badger stripes in my hair at the temples. Going deep purple now with my hair colour not brilliant red. See what that looks like.

Going to try and sleep soon...very soon.
Gnite.




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