Snuffy

Danielito
2016-09-28 17:04:44 (UTC)

I'm a war of head vs heart

I saw Marilyn for the first time last night since our encounter. I had been wanting to get together to talk about what happened, how we would handle the scenario in which she is pregnant, if we wanted to continue seeing each other, etc.

I wanted to take her out to dinner but she had been so busy that all she had time to do was come over and talk. She stayed for a grand total of 10 minutes. She said she was angry that I told President Tucker it was her. She thought it was an infringement of her privacy and I was disrespectful by telling him. She said she was going to tell her bishop anyway and that I didn't need to say anything to President Tucker.

I apologized and explained that I did try to keep her out of it but that Pres Tucker said I had to disclose that information as part of the confession process. She said I should have put my foot down and refused.

I didn't know what to say other than sorry. Though, in my head I'm calling bullshit the entire time. She had previously told me she didn't want to tell anyone and I firmly believe she would not have told her bishop had Pres Tucker not called her and her bishop and essentially forced a confession out of her. Not that I care what she does on her end, but don't lie to me and say that you were going to do something you had no intention of doing. You're just mad you got caught. Lets not forget who said "I want you. I'm going to take advantage of you."

Anyway, she was in such a rush that I didn't feel it was time to really get into anything deeper than that. I did ask her if she wanted to continue seeing each other. She said yes, but that she was a busy person and that I shouldn't get offended when she doesn't get back to me right away or we have a hard time getting together. That part is true. She's working 11pm-7am at Takata and 8:30am to 4pm at North Elementary, Monday through Friday. That's freakin crazy.

So here's where I'm at: my brain and my gut are telling me this girl is a waste of time, she's more trouble than she's worth, and she's likely to get me in more trouble with the law of chastity. My heart and my manhood are reminding me of how fun and exciting she is and how attractive she is and how cool it is that she travels, and how convenient it is that she lives here and we can actually see each other without having to drive 3 hours.

Overall I'm soured. This has been a lot of stress and it has brought me more grief than anything. If I'm smart, I'll walk away. If.




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