dawn1973

Life-of-pain
2016-09-25 20:28:37 (UTC)

I must've done some really terrible..

I must've done some really terrible stuff in my life to be used, humiliated by someone I never thought would do that to me. I feel incomplete, lost and lonely. I pray that god hears me and doesn't allow me to wakeup tomorrow. I'm so tired of trying to live right and be good to others when I always end up hurt by everyone. My life sucks, I want out, I just want the pain inside to end forever. I can't sleep because when I do all I dream about is him and I wakeup crying my eyes out, eating makes me sick to my stomach to where I just throw it right back up. My son hates me and said it's what I get for treating people good. He knew he wasn't going to stick around. He knew he was using me. He said after all think of what he promised me as your kid and never followed thru with that alone should tell you he's not a man of his word and didn't care if he hurt you.
I love him and nothing changes that but on another hand I'm so humiliated by him I never want to leave my house ever again. I can never be friends with him nor could I ever be around him the hurt is to much. I just want to leave this earthly place and leave behind the disappointment I have caused everyone it would be best. Please if there's a god that we pray to please take me away from here please never let me wake when I fall asleep again. I'm done with this life it's just to much for me to handle.




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