AlwaysMarilynDean

To Be Honest With You
2016-09-22 06:13:42 (UTC)

Keep Going

I keep thinking about the day I say him that it was 100% proof that he was still there that maybe I would get a second chance at this I have no idea if I'm letting go or just waking up but the more I think about being with teddy the more I think about how bad it could be I know if we did become a couple and sadly things didn't work out it would break me completely and I don't know if I could come back from that and not only that but I keep thinking about how I would have to say goodbye sometimes it feels like there is no outside of here like I'm stuck in this bubble and it freaks me out at times but honestly the bubble is more towards Teddy what if I don't like anyone like this in Washington? what if I'm 1,000 miles away from him and he's all I want... I just keep thinking about all the possibilities and how happy I would be I think I should write him a letter explain everything I most likely will not give it to him then I would probably sound like a crazy person but who knows maybe that will help me let go and move on. I still kind of have feelings for Angelo his voice sounds so calm and maybe I’m really losing it but on Tuesday in class I had to give him the sign in sheet and I called out his name and he turned around with a smile then I saw him while I was walking to gym and he kind of did look at me but not as much but even thinking about how it would be with Angelo my mind automatically thinks about Teddy and compares them maybe I don’t have a chance with either one of them… maybe I’m meant to be alone

-MD




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