Porky Pieman

Pies, Puns and Filthy Thoughts (18 )
2016-09-12 21:17:13 (UTC)

Terry The Tongue

Reminiscing about Big Bertha has brought the memories flooding back.

There used to be a bloke, Terry, who came in the pub every weekend. Ugly as fuck he was, his face was like a cross between a constipated rat trying to squeeze one out and a bulldog chewing a hot chilli. Every second tooth was either black or missing, when he smiled, if that's what you can call it, it looked like he'd two Zebra Crossings (English road crossings for all you colonials) in his mouth.

Now while the only scoring us handsome young bucks were doing was on the dartboard, Frankenterry had women flocking round him. Every week the same, women would look at him and head straight over, he always went home with at least one, often more.

It baffled us young studs, he wasn't rich, or even well dressed, he'd just come in, sit at a table with his pint and packet of pork scratchings in front of him and sit there indulging in this weird habit he had of licking his own eyebrows and forehead.




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