sft

A Subs Space... OVER 18!
2016-09-09 06:14:31 (UTC)

Making the peace

i had a lovely chat to pi last night on hangouts. we haven't spoken there for a while, and it was good to catch up :) we are also planning to chat tonight :)
While i was there talking to him, i checked my archives, and there was lisa. i had put our last bitter exchange there so i couldn't see her, but even though i did that, i kept checking to see if she was there?
i needed to talk to her. i needed us to be ok.
So i stole my breath, and typed a *hi lisa* into the keyboard. To my relief, she replied immediately, and we were soon saying sorry and saying how much we'd missed each others chats! (i know, but human beings are complicated, especially this one).

Anyway, i knew she was trying a bit of Domming with this guy on fet, and i said maybe she would like to meet a proper, lovely little sub male i knew. she said she might, and asked who. i said pi. lol
we exchanged a few comments between all three of us with me the go between, and i think they were both chuckling about it. It was all in good humour.

Before long, it was time for me to go to bed. i am sticking to my bedtimes ridgidly now after Master warned me about making light of His rules the other day :(

i may be seeing Him today if He can get away. i am so nervous about the punishment, but i really need it to be over, and i really need to see Him to let Him know i am ready for whatever He has in store in our future together. i don't want to slip into that place where i become complacent with our D/s. i think i may have gotten too comfortable in our dynamic :(

Maybe without the Dd/lg dynamic involved now, i will *grow up* enough to understand what i am, before He takes that important role back on. i *did* enjoy that aspect of our D/s, so i *do* want to get back there... eventually. Master says He will do so when He knows i'm ready again.

For now, i'm just glad lisa and i are talking again, because i *did* feel really bad about it all. i never wanted to hurt her, or make Master and her unhappy :(




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