sft

A Subs Space... OVER 18!
2016-09-02 11:59:22 (UTC)

So...

Once again, i find myself in a bit of a weird head space. This time it's lisa...

she sent me a message on hangouts this morning, saying she was planning on moving on and meeting this new Dom... well, he's new to it all, it seems, himself. she said she likes him, and wants to meet him. What could i say? That Master was asking me if He should invite her to join us Monday? i decided to just wish her well. But then i later told Master, and i decided to tell her that He was thinking of emailing her today, but that now He had heard that, He probably wouldn't :(
she was like... " Oh, FFS!"
So i assumed she was still interested in seeing us.
So i said if she was, she should email Master saying so, before He emailed her!
i think she left it, because she not long ago told me He had emailed her, and she was now in tears because she felt conflicted :(

So now, i'm hoping to talk to her tonight on hangouts, because i too, feel conflicted about all this! It's such a weird feeling! i don't want to jump in again, but i do! We know her, and she knows us. We know how it went last time, and we have all grown over the last year... especially her and i, i think.
i now feel able to cope with things i couldn't before... but i fear the new... unlike lisa. she is thinking of striking out afresh, and good luck to her if she does. In her shoes, i probably wouldn't be able to just play with Master and i again, so i wouldn't, unless i had something solid like a full poly again, which i think is what she is wanting from us.

But if only she would join us for one or two meets... we could all decide together what to do then... *sighs*

Weird headspace... feeling like i've lost a sister again :(




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