Tony's ramblings
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2016-08-31 19:24:04 (UTC)

Just going to type an see what happens.......... Music of the day

Big into music matching my mood and lately the weather hasnt helped it focusing alot more than normal on the negatives in my life even tho I know better than to do such seeing as the majority of it I can't do fuck all about atm . The song of the day is Nothing Else Matters by Mettalica and before you jump to conclusions on the title this has always been a song I can just write to for awhile something about the guitar mixed with the vocals just makes me kinda pensive . I'm a fairly easy guy to get to know but alot of my issue is I get in my own way I worry more than I should or is prolly healthy I spent so many years of my life afraid of who I really was I was always the quiet kid I blended in with room nobody took a second look at me but lately I've just been trying to embrace more of who I am and I'm starting to see people really like me for just me( Thanks F Team for that lol ) even so it's not exactly an easy process I've always been harder on myself than most whether thats because i know i should be doing more than I am or just simply wanting more ( I'm on disability atm ) just collecting a check looking for something to feel more fulfillment in my life . Which brings me to my next aspect a partner or lack their of atm . I used to be very very introverted but due to conversations with people that's changed and I've become a very social person who has nothing but time on their hands ..... I'm wanting / hoping to find the right woman for me I know more than one there is deffinate interest in just seems nobody is looking for something serious or has the time and given me with my totaly open schedule I inadvertantly bug the piss outta people looking for social interaction especially on days like today where im stuck in the house with it storming outside ( thanks floirda lol :p ) Which begs the question where do I go from here an what do I do now ? Constant questions flitting thru my mind mixed in with my own isecurity as I discover who I really am and get comfortable with who that person really is after all this time .............