The Grown Up Years of a Weird Woman
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2016-08-12 23:22:00 (UTC)

Freshman Year

So time to write about Freshman year, I doubt any of you read about my years of school haha, but if you do applause for you babes.;)

Freshman year I was an awkward & outgoing bitch? I guess around certain people I had found to be intimidating. Attractive people of both genders made me nervous and idk if it's just me, but I always find a attractive feature in just about anyone. ESPECIALLY THE EYES.

Peeps if you got gorgeous eyes you got my daisies!!

So yeah. I was awkward. Still am but give less of a crap about what people think.

I made some pretty awesome friends, but pretty much the awkward crew I made do with and the stoners. Stereotypes of groups but yeah dood.

Um I had this awkward crush on this guy named Jacob(Jake). I had no idea why but I thought he could have liked me too because he looked at me like crazy and he walked down the same hallway everyday and I'd walk that way just to see him....... UGH FRESHMAN YEAR ME WHY. HE WAS A DICK UGHGHGHG.

Despite being nervous I went up and talked to him, he probably hated me because I was a freshman and he was a douche sophomore. Eat a pickle fricken hogwart stuffed animal piñata!

I liked him off and on again, it was weird.

I had no idea what his name was too and there was no yearbooks or anything so I tried finding him.

SO the weirdest shit happened, I was staying after and I walked by the A and B honoral people's names.

And than I turned around looking for my name and I was on the B honoral some how and I looked at sophomores and I saw him at the top, like I just knew it was him he looked like a Jacob (this was before I knew his name clearly I looked him up on facebook like a fucking lunatic I was crazy over him and he wasn't even that attractive I just loved his eyes lmao)

So you're probably judging me but we have all been there. We've all liked people who weren't that attractive that we barely know for some odd reason.

Oh yeeee, so I wanted to ask him for his number and the 2nd to the last day I woke up early and saw him at breakfast so I waited outside cuz I knew he had to go the EC for 1st hour (OH GOD I SOUND SO STALKER-Y BUT ITS BECAUSE I SAW HIM OUTSIDE ONE DAY I DIDNT FOLLOW HIM AROUND)

I waited outside for him and I let him walk by I was trying to get the guts to talk to him but I just let him walk past me... and I started balling. I felt pathetic, like I missed out on something (and trust me gurlfran I didn't) idk I just felt worthless and shit. I cried in front of my friends when I went inside, my friend Izzy was supposed to be there for me when I talked to him but she wasn't there and never morally was.

So the next day or whichever day it was my friend Mercedes talked to him and it was a group of girls and he seemed outnumber'd so I don't blame him for saying no he could have that any of us were my name. We were freshman and it was awkward for him. She said "My friend Katie wants your number can she have it?" and I was avoiding contact with him because I was nervous so I don't know if he was looking at me like he knew It was me or what but he said "no" very low and walked away.

Maybe he thought he was doing me favor if he did know me. He avoided me whenever I tried talking to him or whatever. It was two years ago so I don't really give a shit now but still.

I'm happy things didn't work out. I truly believe most things happen for a reason.
Someone better will come along. It was truly a lesson and I'm glad to have had the chance to have it.

I was only expecting him to be something to make me happy.

I expected and you should never expect anything from anyone.


I love writing man, it hurts to remember sometimes, but a memory is a memory. One day I'll look back and say "OH YEAH THAT LIL DUMBSHIT JAKE DENY'D ME MUAHAHA HE MISSED OUT ON ME!! :)" Y'all be thinking "Lol he didn't miss out on much" well )))-; lol true tho xD hahaha!!!

Well thanks for reading this point and chapter on my memories, :) Send me some feedback on anything you'd like to know or anything similar to you!!


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