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2016-07-12 11:26:48 (UTC)

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"Brothers on a Hotel Bed" by Death Cab for Cutie

July 12, 2016 Tuesday 11:27 AM

I don't feel good.

I'm s'posed to be writing. I have to turn in a creative "scene" tomorrow in class, buuttt I dunno. When Rayes went around asking us what we were gonna do, I was like, "I'm not suuree but I'm probably gonna stay away from drama."

He was like, "Some argue with this, but I think comedy is harder than drama.."

and I said something like, "Oh I just. Don't like drama," but??? I'm upset that that came out of my mouth??? I know it's not a big deal, but it is not what I meant to say and is totally misleading??

I don't dislike drama. I dislike dramatics.??? I write drama, god damn, it's melodrama I try to avoid.

Besides. Are things split up plain into drama or comedy??

I hope not...

I hate when the things I say don't quite match reality. It feels like I'm lying and just. ugh. I'm upset by this.

And I don't know what to write.

I also feel like Mr. Rayes hates me.

Annnd I am annoyed with myself for all this random anxiety. God damn it. It's so small.

Maybe I'm just tired. My sleep has been shitty lately.

And I don't wanna show my writing. Fuck. Shush, self. I hate typing up my thoughts (right now, I mean). But I'm also tired of hearing them on repeat in my head.